Men: Sensitivity? Hahaha!

During my sophomore year at Atlantis State college, 2/16/2008 Sabbath, 1:37 AM

I watched Titanic today. It's a very good movie. But it made me realize something. Mm. Pens are fun to write with. But that's not what I realized. Anyway, UGH there is this certain guy I'm always thinking about

[this is the same guy, Michael, mentioned in the post right before this one.]

(I don't think I've actually put that in writing or words yet, except in my thoughts) and it's super annoying because I'm quite sure it's only one-sided.

[I'm sorry I'm interrupting, but I have to tell you: the feeling was mutual. Or, at least less one-sided than I was imagining. Or lying to myself, I really knew it the whole time. See my other blog, for more on that. :) ]

Anyway, it hurts me all the time. And that couldn't be love, right? I don't think so, not really. Anyway, so when I watched titanic, I thought of something amazing. To me, anyway. For some weird reason, I've had this weird confused picture of Guys + girls relationship stuff. I mean, what I mean is, for some reason I've not understood it exactly. It's mostly cause I never hang out with guys. I never understood... how a guy could fall in love with a girl. It's really strange, but for some reason I had this notion that somehow guys w are better than girls, I don't know why, and that a girl somehow wouldn't be as important to him as he was to the girl. I think [pen scribble] this feeling I had had something to do with how guys always seem less emotional than girls, and all that stuff. Where they don't seem to connect as easily as girls do. So whenever I'd see a guy who was sensitive or caring or whatever, I was like, whoa. That's so hot. But I didn't think of it as normal, or required, even. And I still feel like that sometimes. But it's a little better.

Hmmm. Oh, this thought Ok, this thought is going to be finished later. [scribbly] Too sleepy.

[I meant to go on to say that Titanic had opened my eyes to the idea that guys could be sensitive, caring, and loving. As it goes, I've learned that idea more and more so every day, especially by watching movies, and also getting to know guys I've dated. Ha. There are only a few. But it was definitely enlightening; I've learned a lot. When I wrote this, it was like I felt that guys didn't have emotions like girls do-- that they were inhuman, basically. Now, I know they're different, but in many ways guys CAN have emotions similar to girl's emotions. Heehee. *whew* That would have been a problem.]