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【金花の翼金花の翼金花の翼金花の翼金花の翼金花の翼金花の翼】
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Mashed Journal Partly from 2/20/12 at 22:46
My day is not my future-- my future, tho fragile, is my FUTURE. If I accept the truth of death and clocks, I can look toward this fragile future and see the stars beyond death and time. My self definition will be much better when I have that goal-- there will be a respect and distinguishment in myself. So when some big deal happens to me, I become aware of my, well, timeline, and its fragility. God's plan, incorportated with my own, becomes obvious; my potential, and my powers! are laid out in front of me. This isn't silliness. If I can't feel it right now, I need to keep reading. At this awareness, I take on an easy confidence. I realize that whatever this big deal is, it's something I must be there for. I sit up straighter, and think about what I can do. This awareness makes me see the truth, which is that I *have* confidence based on my true potential. That confidence does not take any "work" to create. I've thought, confidence in myself is hard to take because I don't have the STRENGTH to just TAKE it already. But confidence is not an obtainable thing. It's a characteristic that I can USE - only when I've gained the power to see the truth about myself.
I'm a Princess with a shatterable mission. I'm unique, not equally unique as others are, but in an all-about-me sort of way, where I'm absorbed with my own uniqueness and don't care about other's uniqueness. Almost like I'm better than others, except I'm only better in my own eyes.
I matter- what I have to do is IMPORTANT. That importance REALLY can't be denied by anyone else. If I have trouble accepting this right now as I re-read, then I've let my self-contour, my barriers, take a hit. I need a better defense next time, whether it be purposeful or unconscious defense; and that defense had better be indomitable. You rebuild the casualties to those graceful borderlands in nothing flat, woman. Don't let those people, and Divinities, you love's guidance and heart pieces get forgotten.
do kanji every night!daily! or, more if I have that power!
Once I've taken the time to prepare for something, I feel prepared.-.- So I'm making my anytime routine starred to looking good. Then I can attack the hard stuff.
PRETEND it's the END for me. I'll have to metamorphose my procrastination-on-death-- I must change my lost-battle-- into a new future.
An ending into a beginning.
見て頃を！神風怪盗ジャンのテーマは：強気に、本気！無敵に、素敵！元気、勇気！
