I started a post a while ago and stopped for some reason and nobody got to read it.
I don't care, though, because it was mostly empty!
Now I'm going to add to it.
Basically, my blog needs improving. It's lacking in changes. Since I'm going to remodel my room, I should remodel here, too!
I am really bad at remodeling. The reason I say this is because I like to horde junk. What I mean by this is that I can't change things. To me, changes seem like a big deal, but other people probably wouildn't notice whatever is different.
For example, I have a hard time getting rid of clothes. Thus, when I got six large packing boxes sent to me (Wednesday, was it?) filled with my clothes from Atlantis, I (surprise!) didn't need any of the clothes! I really just need to get rid of some. Now everything is falling out of drawers, or the drawers won't close, and plus, I need a lot more hangers. And the little cubbies on the top of my closet are heavy and overflowing with random holey hot chocolate- stained pajama shorts and high-school t-shirts that used to be nice that have little holes by the belly button (from when I had to hold my pants up with a belt and the belt caught)....
Lately I catch my lacy dresses on drawer handles in the kitchen a lot, and tear holes in them. ARRRRG. It makes me really mad, mostly at the lacy dress.
I know what you're thinking. You're like, JUST GIVE AWAY THE OLD STUFF, CARA!
Thank you. That really helps. I'm glad you reminded me, because I was starting to go crazy knowing I needed to get rid of 50% of my clothing and yet I can't see any of the raggedy clothes under my nose as being get-rid-of-able.
But they are! I'm glad I have you here reading this so you could remind me of that. :)
Mmmmmm, KAY. There are a few things I need to make apparent to my self.
1. My blog is totally outdated.
Not,
like, boring or old, but just... I haven't changed it for a while. I
need to change it for a bit of inspiration. Sabbath (Saturday) or some
other free day would be a good time to spend a while making it anew.
2. I need to learn Japanese... by using what I work with everyday. I need to type up and practice the kanji in アニメ that I watch, or even more, the words that I hear the most. Give myself a time limit for working on this project.
examples: ヤマトナデシコ七変化*
3. I'm going to make a schedule. Then I'll explain it to you, and talk about how I'm doing and accept scoldings when I don't go to bed on time. Hopefully I won't need scolding for not making it to work. (I am so ashamed I am late sometimes, but I've got to be positive and do my best!)
4. I have to start journaling about the medicines I take so that I have an understanding of how they affect me. I'll set up a separate page for it when it's not interesting and just factual, and update a small list there. And I can write about it in a post if there's a lot to talk about it.
Showing posts with label journaling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label journaling. Show all posts
Friday, July 18, 2014
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Accepting! Running for your Life!
I got up this morning at 10:30-ish. I had boring breakfast and stuffed myself. I've gotten really hungry for milk lately, I eat it with chocolate or strawberry mix. I think it helps me lose weight because I drink it and BAM! there's half my stomach filled, but it acts as protein and builds and heals my exercised muscles. Cool, right? And it tastes so yummy. But I get a lot of sugar, too... so if I when I am not working out, I avoid that, haha.
... The most lbs. I've lost so far... NINE pounds!!! Well, I can't officially count this until I can hold the weight for a three weeks, not just two.
Next, I did some anime watching, and after that, working out. Those were the main things, but it took me a while to start working out. My goal is to work out earlier in the morning, I could exercise twice a day if I did that, since there would be more time and energy in the evening for a second go.
Working out was good, not as hard as Wednesday's, and I felt more tired. I played DDR (YAY!!!) and ran outside. Tomorrow, I'll push myself harder. I think I have more energy at night, but I want to try and change my metabolism to start up earlier, is that weird?
GASP it's 2am. This isn't much of a "post before nighttime sleep" since it's morning....gaaaaa--
When I run outside, it really helps me to pretend that someone's chasing me. Especially if I imagine I'm going somewhere, (my castle/tower home, where I'll be safe when I arrive because we have security, but until then I must keep ahead of my pursuers, so I pretend the path I run on is the only one that runs through a thick forest). It feels real when I notice the smells of the trees and other green stuff outside. Especially what helps is to listen to my ipod, that keeps me going if nothing else does.
I was watching Phantom: requiem two or three days ago, and here's a quote that confirms this amazing idea while running: "When you pursue, think as if you're running. When you run, vice versa." How perfect is that? When I run, I'm NOT being chased, I'm pursing weight loss (or a workout), and so it makes me want to stop! Especially if I remember how easy it is to quit, and how much better I'd feel if I could go have lunch and watch anime or take a bath, or the fact that I haven't done the dishes. So quitting would be easy... but if I forget that I'm the one pursuing weight loss, and instead imagine that I'm running for my life, it becomes... easy.
The only problem is that it takes a lot of focus to imagine things like that, and sometimes you forget to keep it up.
I also spent forever printing the Japanese Grammar Guide (click here for the link, there's a PDF and a lot of other language versions, too). I had to put it in THREE SEPARATE VOLUMES! But it was fun, and I learned new kanji in the process of decorating the cover. I will show them to you! :) :)
午後三時です。
They say we would remember our dreams better if we wrote down what we remembered after we wake up-- that eventually we'd remember more and more each time. My life is a bit like a dream, really! I forget what I do, day by day. That means that I can't as easily change my habits, and that I try things over and over, wishing for different results, and not getting them. (Trying to lose weight without exercising or lessening sugar, going to sleep at THREE AM and thinking I won't be tired, etc.)
So I'm going to TRY and be less vague in my posts from now on-- as in, I'm going to write about the actual DETAILS of my life, like what the clock says and my daily choices. I can't lie to myself this way!
Journaling could be considered a form of meditation, you know. Meditation (in Kabbat-zin's book I'm reading) is all about being aware of what's really going on. Instead of trusting your perception, which would be how see something that you haven't really stood back and looked at objectively. Journaling can be a form of objective reporting-- as long as you avoid saying this/that is good or bad, and NO worrying about the past or future! I'm going to try it-- just telling the truth of what you see right then! Of course, maybe it's not pure meditation (I WILL be thinking, just not worrying) about past and future. It's not as simple as meditation in that sense, but then I might be a little off in the definition of meditation right now as I'm not very far into the book. No judging yourself harshly is pretty good for thought, whether or not you're meditating, right? :)
IDEAS
am- med
pm - journal
all day - prayer
- - - - - - - - -
Also while running... I came up with a better idea of how to look at other people. I thought, sometimes I love the uniqueness of my family. They're like anime characters in the way they're so unique-- compulsive, argumentative, obsessive, loving, and stubborn.
But I always want to help them; usually in a unhelpful, unwanted-advice like this-is-how-I-would-do-it sort of way. I don't think of my advice-giving from their point of view. And that really IS too complicated-- what I should do INSTEAD is this: accept people exactly as they are, not as they could be, and their potential, but right NOW.
In anime, especially in the comical parts, the authors and animators like to make us laugh by showing off unique characters' quirks. These characters are weird and unique, for example, really beautiful, really dorky, really ecstatic, hyper, girly, manly, physically small, any type of extreme characteristic. The other characters either enjoy, are pulled along into the fray, or simply deal with their friends' and enemies' actions as best as they can. But they don't ever tell them they're weird or that they need to change. They only react to those characters' actions. Sometimes they imply "you're weird" or to that effect, but we as viewers don't ever expect the character to become less weird. And we love them weird. If they weren't weird, the anime would be boring and we'd go watch a better anime with more interesting characters.
If people can change, most can do it themselves. Only when I know exactly what to say can I give advice, and also only when I'm sure it's needed! In my family, that's .00001 % of the time, so never! (My family members are stubborn, and also very intuitive and don't need help like I sometimes imagine they do.)
That would feel so much better. I was saying recently that "respect" was the most encompassing way to explain this idea I just wrote, but really, "acceptance" is a little more encompassing. Respect is still included, but in a way, acceptance is a recipe with a little more of love-ingredient.
... The most lbs. I've lost so far... NINE pounds!!! Well, I can't officially count this until I can hold the weight for a three weeks, not just two.
Next, I did some anime watching, and after that, working out. Those were the main things, but it took me a while to start working out. My goal is to work out earlier in the morning, I could exercise twice a day if I did that, since there would be more time and energy in the evening for a second go.
Working out was good, not as hard as Wednesday's, and I felt more tired. I played DDR (YAY!!!) and ran outside. Tomorrow, I'll push myself harder. I think I have more energy at night, but I want to try and change my metabolism to start up earlier, is that weird?
GASP it's 2am. This isn't much of a "post before nighttime sleep" since it's morning....gaaaaa--
When I run outside, it really helps me to pretend that someone's chasing me. Especially if I imagine I'm going somewhere, (my castle/tower home, where I'll be safe when I arrive because we have security, but until then I must keep ahead of my pursuers, so I pretend the path I run on is the only one that runs through a thick forest). It feels real when I notice the smells of the trees and other green stuff outside. Especially what helps is to listen to my ipod, that keeps me going if nothing else does.
I was watching Phantom: requiem two or three days ago, and here's a quote that confirms this amazing idea while running: "When you pursue, think as if you're running. When you run, vice versa." How perfect is that? When I run, I'm NOT being chased, I'm pursing weight loss (or a workout), and so it makes me want to stop! Especially if I remember how easy it is to quit, and how much better I'd feel if I could go have lunch and watch anime or take a bath, or the fact that I haven't done the dishes. So quitting would be easy... but if I forget that I'm the one pursuing weight loss, and instead imagine that I'm running for my life, it becomes... easy.
The only problem is that it takes a lot of focus to imagine things like that, and sometimes you forget to keep it up.
I also spent forever printing the Japanese Grammar Guide (click here for the link, there's a PDF and a lot of other language versions, too). I had to put it in THREE SEPARATE VOLUMES! But it was fun, and I learned new kanji in the process of decorating the cover. I will show them to you! :) :)
決める
「きめる」
kimeru
to decide
夢
「ゆめ」
yume
dream
午後三時です。
「ごごさんじです」
gogo sanji desu
it's three p.m.
夜明けに
「よあけに」
yoa ke ni
at dawn
午前十二時です。
「ごぜんじゅうにじです」
gozen juuniji desu
it's twelve a.m.
They say we would remember our dreams better if we wrote down what we remembered after we wake up-- that eventually we'd remember more and more each time. My life is a bit like a dream, really! I forget what I do, day by day. That means that I can't as easily change my habits, and that I try things over and over, wishing for different results, and not getting them. (Trying to lose weight without exercising or lessening sugar, going to sleep at THREE AM and thinking I won't be tired, etc.)
So I'm going to TRY and be less vague in my posts from now on-- as in, I'm going to write about the actual DETAILS of my life, like what the clock says and my daily choices. I can't lie to myself this way!
Journaling could be considered a form of meditation, you know. Meditation (in Kabbat-zin's book I'm reading) is all about being aware of what's really going on. Instead of trusting your perception, which would be how see something that you haven't really stood back and looked at objectively. Journaling can be a form of objective reporting-- as long as you avoid saying this/that is good or bad, and NO worrying about the past or future! I'm going to try it-- just telling the truth of what you see right then! Of course, maybe it's not pure meditation (I WILL be thinking, just not worrying) about past and future. It's not as simple as meditation in that sense, but then I might be a little off in the definition of meditation right now as I'm not very far into the book. No judging yourself harshly is pretty good for thought, whether or not you're meditating, right? :)
IDEAS
am- med
pm - journal
all day - prayer
- - - - - - - - -
Also while running... I came up with a better idea of how to look at other people. I thought, sometimes I love the uniqueness of my family. They're like anime characters in the way they're so unique-- compulsive, argumentative, obsessive, loving, and stubborn.
But I always want to help them; usually in a unhelpful, unwanted-advice like this-is-how-I-would-do-it sort of way. I don't think of my advice-giving from their point of view. And that really IS too complicated-- what I should do INSTEAD is this: accept people exactly as they are, not as they could be, and their potential, but right NOW.
In anime, especially in the comical parts, the authors and animators like to make us laugh by showing off unique characters' quirks. These characters are weird and unique, for example, really beautiful, really dorky, really ecstatic, hyper, girly, manly, physically small, any type of extreme characteristic. The other characters either enjoy, are pulled along into the fray, or simply deal with their friends' and enemies' actions as best as they can. But they don't ever tell them they're weird or that they need to change. They only react to those characters' actions. Sometimes they imply "you're weird" or to that effect, but we as viewers don't ever expect the character to become less weird. And we love them weird. If they weren't weird, the anime would be boring and we'd go watch a better anime with more interesting characters.
If people can change, most can do it themselves. Only when I know exactly what to say can I give advice, and also only when I'm sure it's needed! In my family, that's .00001 % of the time, so never! (My family members are stubborn, and also very intuitive and don't need help like I sometimes imagine they do.)
That would feel so much better. I was saying recently that "respect" was the most encompassing way to explain this idea I just wrote, but really, "acceptance" is a little more encompassing. Respect is still included, but in a way, acceptance is a recipe with a little more of love-ingredient.
Acceptance lets you love and respect someone, but it adds something else. When you accept someone, you accept them completely and whole. Teddy, I don't just accept that you're you as you are-- but I know that you CAN become a better you-- if there is one. I have NO doubt you can fly, you can make whatever you want, go wherever you want, do what you can, be the best you--- I believe in you.♥
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
New Strategy!
Every morning, I'm going to read some of the Bible until I've got some sort of amount of information. Okay? Okay.
And then, I'm going to blog for a while. Write about stuff. I need to try to find some sort of inspiration regularly. But I don't find inspiration or even succeed at things in the first place unless I'm pushed to do it. Since being pushed isn't always something life does for me specifically, as I am living in a situation that is easy and peaceful, I have to push myself.
I haven't found a way to push myself besides just doing it. So when I'm blogging, I have to try and address a problem specifically, and pretend (with some sort of story) that I am in distress and must find a solution to whatever problem I've chosen to write about that day (I have to include stuff I talk about in counseling). Anyway, even if the problem does not need to be solved immediately in my reality, eventually it WILL and I'd rather start early! It'll be like journaling, regularly, and fun because I get to pretend something!
And then, I'm going to blog for a while. Write about stuff. I need to try to find some sort of inspiration regularly. But I don't find inspiration or even succeed at things in the first place unless I'm pushed to do it. Since being pushed isn't always something life does for me specifically, as I am living in a situation that is easy and peaceful, I have to push myself.
I haven't found a way to push myself besides just doing it. So when I'm blogging, I have to try and address a problem specifically, and pretend (with some sort of story) that I am in distress and must find a solution to whatever problem I've chosen to write about that day (I have to include stuff I talk about in counseling). Anyway, even if the problem does not need to be solved immediately in my reality, eventually it WILL and I'd rather start early! It'll be like journaling, regularly, and fun because I get to pretend something!
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