I think I know what it is that is frightening about being forgotten.
Maybe... being forgotten can be equated with being dead; no one notices you're there and you can't interact or connect with other humans. Those you love and who love you are so far away from you that you can't see or hear them. You're lonely; but even more than that, it's like you don't exist--you're GONE. Perhaps, this feels like DEATH.
Or death as we might imagine it, anyway. Death isn't something we understand, so it's not only depressing, but terribly frightening in its unknowable-ness. Mmmmmm.
Showing posts with label being forgotten. Show all posts
Showing posts with label being forgotten. Show all posts
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Friday, April 9, 2010
On Being Forgotten
Have you ever felt really, really sad because it was your birthday and no one remembered? You woke up and there wasn't any presents from your parents or anyone making breakfast--or even anyone at all?
I remember a time when I had that sort of feeling very strongly. Maybe it's loneliness, or something more specific than that. Being forgotten, I suppose. What is it about being forgotten that hurts like that?
Not sure.
But I was thinking (randomly) that there are people in my life, like my mom, for instance, who feel the same way about being forgotten. Some people want to be left alone, while others require attention from their friends and family. But my mom doesn't ask me to remember her. In fact, she repeatedly says that she doesn't WANT attention on mother's day or her birthday. She says this because being appreciated on one day, and not the others, feels superficial. It gets her all sentimental, and then the very next day, we regress to slob-like dish-washing habits, or other shows of ungratefulness, once again. That's depressing, for my mom, no doubt.
Basically, when my mom says she doesn't want appreciation, she says it out of humbleness, or denial, or something else unnecessary and incompletely true...'cause EVERYBODY needs appreciation. Appreciation is love!
I'm going to stop listening to her about this issue.
But only this issue. Not listening about other issues is a bad idea. I'm trying to learn how to accept advice from people more often. :)
I remember a time when I had that sort of feeling very strongly. Maybe it's loneliness, or something more specific than that. Being forgotten, I suppose. What is it about being forgotten that hurts like that?
Not sure.
But I was thinking (randomly) that there are people in my life, like my mom, for instance, who feel the same way about being forgotten. Some people want to be left alone, while others require attention from their friends and family. But my mom doesn't ask me to remember her. In fact, she repeatedly says that she doesn't WANT attention on mother's day or her birthday. She says this because being appreciated on one day, and not the others, feels superficial. It gets her all sentimental, and then the very next day, we regress to slob-like dish-washing habits, or other shows of ungratefulness, once again. That's depressing, for my mom, no doubt.
Basically, when my mom says she doesn't want appreciation, she says it out of humbleness, or denial, or something else unnecessary and incompletely true...'cause EVERYBODY needs appreciation. Appreciation is love!
I'm going to stop listening to her about this issue.
But only this issue. Not listening about other issues is a bad idea. I'm trying to learn how to accept advice from people more often. :)
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