Okay, here's the situation. I didn't withdraw from my theory classes. I should have, either that, or made sure with the teachers that I could get a good grade. So now I have to get a good grade, or withdraw and get a W (for withdraw, which almost as bad as an F) on my transcript.
So I'm going to do my best. And I'm scared. That's the whole reason I haven't done well so far on my classes-- I get scared and avoid the problem... and don't do anything.. which of course IS the problem, but I just don't think about it and therefore my avoidance of my fear is really just me avoiding my... avoidance? Like, it's all my fault? :) hahahaha... ugh.
So, I'm going to start doing my homework. I'm going to do my homework like I do my Japanese. I enjoy Japanese, and I do it because I want to learn it. I feel the EXACT same way about music, but I've been avoiding it lately because I don't like being required to study, when really I'm not required, so that doesn't even matter. So I just have to start my music homework like I do with Japanese, and no matter how long it takes me, I'll keep trying.
I'm writing this entire post just to clarify one thing, and I got carried away and typed all that first. Here's the thing I want to clarify: I'M GOING TO CLASS TODAY. I mean, I WILL GO TO CLASS. I'm writing it down so that even if I don't finish my homework, I will go anyway. Because this is such a waste of time, not going to class, and if I go, it will be 100 times easier to clear up the problem. If I don't go, you can hire an assassin and threaten me with him.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Sunday, January 30, 2011
When.
I thought of something. When I'm letting myself get carried away by something that distracts me, I just have to remember: what do I really want? Was this what I was planning on, or am I allowing my decisions to get changed, and pretending that I'm the one that changed those decisions?
(when I say distractions-- I'm referring to something that you love so much, but ends up taking away from the normal, good things, like life, a steady job, family, time with friends... happiness... I mean anything you can get addicted to, like anime for me. I won't involve drugs as if I know what that feels like, but I'm supposing it's the same principle.)
Yes, I'm allowing that-- a decision to be swept under me, my feet flying, my back hitting the cement, and I just lie there, lifeless-- but I don't have to, I'm the master of my decisions. I don't have to allow myself to be swayed in thought and action, not in a place where I'm the one in charge, the queen.
What do I really want? Did I want this? Do I now? Don't ask WHY-- ask, WHEN will I change this?
When.
(when I say distractions-- I'm referring to something that you love so much, but ends up taking away from the normal, good things, like life, a steady job, family, time with friends... happiness... I mean anything you can get addicted to, like anime for me. I won't involve drugs as if I know what that feels like, but I'm supposing it's the same principle.)
Yes, I'm allowing that-- a decision to be swept under me, my feet flying, my back hitting the cement, and I just lie there, lifeless-- but I don't have to, I'm the master of my decisions. I don't have to allow myself to be swayed in thought and action, not in a place where I'm the one in charge, the queen.
What do I really want? Did I want this? Do I now? Don't ask WHY-- ask, WHEN will I change this?
When.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Self Punishment. Kuroshitsuji :..(
I just finished a twelve-ep. anime in one night. Bleh! Actually, I had also finished twenty-six before that, over a little bit longer of a period of time. It was Black Butler I and II, or Kuroshitsuji.
It's very good. In fact, I don't think I'll find one that grabs me like that again for months. Which is bad. Not because I mind waiting for good animes, but because I wanted to try and see how easily I could turn it off. Like, to prove I could exhibit self-control, you know?
Haha! (Not very many people do what I'm talking about, so you might not get it.) It's like... I like to do things to prove to myself that I can. The excitement of such a feeling lasts no longer than a few seconds, but it's a good feeling.
For some reason, I haven't tried it in a while. Or at least I'm not putting this method (showing self control by making myself do difficult things) to any good use at all.
My brain is bouncing all around. I'm hoping that some day, I'll get on top of all this stupid over-analysis junk and just know the answers to the questions in my mind. Because I know the answers are there, I'm just so worried about everything, including the things that don't need worrying over, that I don't discover the answers very quickly.
Anyway, I couldn't turn Kuroshitsuji off until the end came. (LOONG TIME) and so now I can't go back to re-experience my stuck-to-my-computer moment, and I can't test my self-control.
Of course, there's PLENTY of other ways I could test my self-control. I'm complaining about "losing" (more like passing up) an easy way to try it-- in front of my computer-- the very epitome of my lack of self-control.
aaand I'm still here.
Very funny.
Well, I should be going.
It's very good. In fact, I don't think I'll find one that grabs me like that again for months. Which is bad. Not because I mind waiting for good animes, but because I wanted to try and see how easily I could turn it off. Like, to prove I could exhibit self-control, you know?
Haha! (Not very many people do what I'm talking about, so you might not get it.) It's like... I like to do things to prove to myself that I can. The excitement of such a feeling lasts no longer than a few seconds, but it's a good feeling.
For some reason, I haven't tried it in a while. Or at least I'm not putting this method (showing self control by making myself do difficult things) to any good use at all.
My brain is bouncing all around. I'm hoping that some day, I'll get on top of all this stupid over-analysis junk and just know the answers to the questions in my mind. Because I know the answers are there, I'm just so worried about everything, including the things that don't need worrying over, that I don't discover the answers very quickly.
Anyway, I couldn't turn Kuroshitsuji off until the end came. (LOONG TIME) and so now I can't go back to re-experience my stuck-to-my-computer moment, and I can't test my self-control.
Of course, there's PLENTY of other ways I could test my self-control. I'm complaining about "losing" (more like passing up) an easy way to try it-- in front of my computer-- the very epitome of my lack of self-control.
aaand I'm still here.
Very funny.
Well, I should be going.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Edit5
1. Make decisions. A lot.
2. attack problems. just go for it, just stare it right in the face.
3. finish tasks and MOVE ON to the next. this includes walking the dog, taking breaks, and cleaning, which are things I usually spend to much time doing.
4. keep a level, in-control attitude AAT, if possible.
PRIORITIES - DO THIS FIRST.
1. pray
2. bible tea/h2o
3. bath/wash/be clean
4. sleep
5. studies
~ sit down, write a list of the homework you need to get done that day.
~ create and order, and detail this list by answering the question: "What is the most relevant and efficient way of getting a perfect or as-good-as-possible grade in a reasonable amount of time?"
~ get comfy, cement yourself to the spot, and finish the list while keeping other priorities in mind.
6. exercise, lose weight, keep room and house clean.
choose the path of a task or the path of an avoidance?
2. attack problems. just go for it, just stare it right in the face.
3. finish tasks and MOVE ON to the next. this includes walking the dog, taking breaks, and cleaning, which are things I usually spend to much time doing.
4. keep a level, in-control attitude AAT, if possible.
PRIORITIES - DO THIS FIRST.
1. pray
2. bible tea/h2o
3. bath/wash/be clean
4. sleep
5. studies
~ sit down, write a list of the homework you need to get done that day.
~ create and order, and detail this list by answering the question: "What is the most relevant and efficient way of getting a perfect or as-good-as-possible grade in a reasonable amount of time?"
~ get comfy, cement yourself to the spot, and finish the list while keeping other priorities in mind.
6. exercise, lose weight, keep room and house clean.
choose the path of a task or the path of an avoidance?
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Edit4
1. Make decisions. A lot.
2. attack problems. just go for it, just stare it right in the face.
3. keep a level, in-control attitude aat if possible.
PRIORITIES - DO THIS FIRST.
1. pray
2. bible tea/h2o
3. bath/wash/be clean
4. studies
~ sit down, write a list of the things you need to get done that day.
~ create and order, and detail this list by answering the question: "What is the most relevant and efficient way a perfect or as-good-as-possible grade?"
~ get comfy, permanent yourself to the spot, and finish the list while keeping other priorities in mind.
5. sleep
6. exercise, lose weight, keep room and house clean.
choose the path of a task or the path of an avoidance?
2. attack problems. just go for it, just stare it right in the face.
3. keep a level, in-control attitude aat if possible.
PRIORITIES - DO THIS FIRST.
1. pray
2. bible tea/h2o
3. bath/wash/be clean
4. studies
~ sit down, write a list of the things you need to get done that day.
~ create and order, and detail this list by answering the question: "What is the most relevant and efficient way a perfect or as-good-as-possible grade?"
~ get comfy, permanent yourself to the spot, and finish the list while keeping other priorities in mind.
5. sleep
6. exercise, lose weight, keep room and house clean.
choose the path of a task or the path of an avoidance?
Hiding is Bad....
I HAVE AMAZING AVOIDANCE TECHNIQUES.
I don't mean amazing as in "good" or positive. I just mean that these techniques fizzle to ash any tasks I expect myself or others expect me to accomplish, by means of a mile-thick firewall of ultimate doom. They are stronghold, diamond-hard, an ever-spring deep-full of resources.
My avoidance techniques are simply unstoppable, if left unchecked, anyhow.
CARA! You avoid everything you are expecting yourself or someone else expects you to do. Instead of taking tasks by the hand and leading them to the finish line, you do something you are not afraid to approach-- something that doesn't matter if it goes unfinished-- an activity that goes without expectation.
You hide from expectations. When questions arise to when you will finish something (homework) if you will start something (dusting) if you will do this or that (job-search) you avoid those questions as if you'll die for giving an answer.
I watch anime. I watch movies. I play solitaire. I organize itunes. I learn Japanese characters. I sleep. I get myself distracted. I clean the bathroom before I do the mother-assigned task of kitchen cleanup. Now does that make any sense?
I do "important" tasks (cleaning my room, exercising to lose weight) before I do "urgent" tasks (studying for tomorrow's test, feeding the dog).
WHY am I afraid of expectations?!
I have to get into the habit of STARTING and then FINISHING things. But they also have to be the RIGHT things, not just any things.
This is a list.
PRIORITIES - DO THIS FIRST.
1. pray
2. bible tea/h2o
3. bath/wash/be clean
4. studies
~ sit down, write a list of the things you need to get done that day.
~ create and order, and detail this list by answering the question: "What is the most relevant and efficient way a perfect or as-good-as-possible grade?"
~ follow the list, try your best to finish it, and make sure not to spend a ridiculous amount of time so there isn't time for other priorities.
5. sleep
6. exercise, lose weight, keep room and house clean.
Last essential note. It's the point at the crossroads where I sit doing nothing, walking nowhere, in the middle of a split, that I have to choose the path of a task or the path of an avoidance. I almost never have chosen the task path when I expect or wish it of myself, and often if I have, I come running back for the avoidance path, 90% of the time. Do I want to fix this ridiculous habit? Yes. But.
There is no trick to this. It's simply putting one foot forward in front of the other.That's all there is to it. It's not "making yourself do it" so much as it is just doing it. There's no "making" or "motivation" because if you think about it you're pushing yourself from outside forces. It's simply a do or do not thing. It isn't something you have to try to do, it's just a choice. That's what I've been missing this whole time. I thought I was missing something, but the truth is, I wasn't missing anything. It's inside me, my brain, my heart, my hands.
I don't mean amazing as in "good" or positive. I just mean that these techniques fizzle to ash any tasks I expect myself or others expect me to accomplish, by means of a mile-thick firewall of ultimate doom. They are stronghold, diamond-hard, an ever-spring deep-full of resources.
My avoidance techniques are simply unstoppable, if left unchecked, anyhow.
CARA! You avoid everything you are expecting yourself or someone else expects you to do. Instead of taking tasks by the hand and leading them to the finish line, you do something you are not afraid to approach-- something that doesn't matter if it goes unfinished-- an activity that goes without expectation.
You hide from expectations. When questions arise to when you will finish something (homework) if you will start something (dusting) if you will do this or that (job-search) you avoid those questions as if you'll die for giving an answer.
I watch anime. I watch movies. I play solitaire. I organize itunes. I learn Japanese characters. I sleep. I get myself distracted. I clean the bathroom before I do the mother-assigned task of kitchen cleanup. Now does that make any sense?
I do "important" tasks (cleaning my room, exercising to lose weight) before I do "urgent" tasks (studying for tomorrow's test, feeding the dog).
WHY am I afraid of expectations?!
I have to get into the habit of STARTING and then FINISHING things. But they also have to be the RIGHT things, not just any things.
This is a list.
PRIORITIES - DO THIS FIRST.
1. pray
2. bible tea/h2o
3. bath/wash/be clean
4. studies
~ sit down, write a list of the things you need to get done that day.
~ create and order, and detail this list by answering the question: "What is the most relevant and efficient way a perfect or as-good-as-possible grade?"
~ follow the list, try your best to finish it, and make sure not to spend a ridiculous amount of time so there isn't time for other priorities.
5. sleep
6. exercise, lose weight, keep room and house clean.
Last essential note. It's the point at the crossroads where I sit doing nothing, walking nowhere, in the middle of a split, that I have to choose the path of a task or the path of an avoidance. I almost never have chosen the task path when I expect or wish it of myself, and often if I have, I come running back for the avoidance path, 90% of the time. Do I want to fix this ridiculous habit? Yes. But.
There is no trick to this. It's simply putting one foot forward in front of the other.That's all there is to it. It's not "making yourself do it" so much as it is just doing it. There's no "making" or "motivation" because if you think about it you're pushing yourself from outside forces. It's simply a do or do not thing. It isn't something you have to try to do, it's just a choice. That's what I've been missing this whole time. I thought I was missing something, but the truth is, I wasn't missing anything. It's inside me, my brain, my heart, my hands.
Think differently... perspective.
1. Be calm, in control of attitude, all the time. Keep thinking about it. Plan ahead and be calm always.
2. Do the priority stuff first. Fear of not getting it done is simply... simply.... There is no if.
3. Start saying yes, maybe so, and no. To MYSELF.
How do I pull myself away from this feeling? There are only two choices, do I try, or not? What makes this so hard for me? Sensitivity?!
2. Do the priority stuff first. Fear of not getting it done is simply... simply.... There is no if.
3. Start saying yes, maybe so, and no. To MYSELF.
How do I pull myself away from this feeling? There are only two choices, do I try, or not? What makes this so hard for me? Sensitivity?!
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Kanji List for "Remembering the Kanji" / 漢字リスト
I made a list (for myself) of all the kanji used in Remembering the Kanji by James W. Heisig. This is necessary and really useful if you need to use the characters for digital flashcards. (I use Anki.) I'm sure there are other reason someone might want this list. I keep these kanji in the simple text program on my PC, notepad.
UPDATE! MORE KANJI! UPDATE!
LATER EDIT - SA / 8-13-11 / 12:54: - I'm going to add the rest of them now... sorry I didn't have this done before! I've decided: Since I'm really truly going to finish the book, I should make ALL the digital flashcards on Anki right away. Before, I had been adding cards each time I learned new Kanji, and that is a terrible waste of time!!! To me, 2042 looks simple at first, but when I realize how big that number is, I freak out and only half-way commit myself... so now I'm committing to finishing all of them, even if I die first.
For other stuff I'm using to learn Japanese, check out my study log at TheJapanesePage.com - Caladwenaeariel's Study Log.
CHAPTER 1
一, 二, 三, 四, 五, 六, 七, 八, 九, 十, 口, 日, 月, 田, 目
CHAPTER 2
古, 吾, 冒, 朋, 明, 唱, 晶, 品, 呂, 昌, 早, 旭, 世, 胃, 旦, 胆, 亘, 凹, 凸
CHAPTER 3
旧, 自, 白, 百, 中, 千, 舌, 升, 昇, 丸, 寸, 専, 博, 占, 上, 下, 卓, 朝
CHAPTER 4
只, 貝, 貞, 員, 見, 児, 元, 頁, 頑, 凡, 負, 万, 句, 肌, 旬, 勺, 的, 首
CHAPTER 5 71-94
乙, 乱, 直, 具, 真, 工, 左, 右, 有, 賄, 貢, 項, 刀, 刃, 切, 召, 昭, 則, 副, 別, 丁, 町, 可, 頂
CHAPTER 6 95-104
子, 孔, 了, 女, 好, 如, 母, 貫, 兄, 克
CHAPTER 7 105-126
小, 少, 大, 多, 夕, 汐, 外, 名, 石, 肖, 硝, 砕, 砂, 削, 光, 太, 器, 臭, 妙, 省, 厚, 奇
CHAPTER 8 127-172 +46
川, 州, 順, 水, 氷, 永, 泉, 原, 願, 泳, 沼, 沖, 江, 汁, 潮, 源, 活, 消, 況, 河, 泊, 湖, 測, 土, 吐, 圧, 埼, 垣, 圭, 封, 涯,
寺, 時, 均, 火, 炎, 煩, 淡, 灯, 畑, 災, 灰, 点, 照, 魚, 漁
CHAPTER 9 173-194 +22
里, 黒, 墨, 鯉, 量, 厘, 埋, 同, 洞, 胴, 向, 尚, 字, 守, 完, 宣, 宵, 安, 宴, 寄, 富, 貯
CHAPTER 10 195-234 +40
木, 林, 森, 桂, 柏, 枠, 梢, 棚, 杏, 桐, 植, 枯, 朴, 村, 相, 机, 本, 札, 暦, 案, 燥, 未, 末, 沫, 味, 妹, 朱, 株, 若, 草, 苦, 寛, 薄, 葉, 模, 漠, 墓, 暮, 膜, 苗
CHAPTER 11 235-249 +15
兆, 桃, 眺, 犬, 状, 黙, 然, 荻, 狩, 猫, 牛, 特, 告, 先, 洗
CHAPTER 12 250-276 +27
介, 界, 茶, 合, 塔, 王, 玉, 宝, 珠, 現, 狂, 皇, 呈, 全, 栓, 理, 主, 注, 柱, 金, 銑, 鉢, 銅, 釣, 針, 銘, 鎮
CHAPTER 13 277-299 +23
道, 導, 辻, 迅, 造, 迫, 逃, 辺, 巡, 車, 連, 軌, 輸, 前, 各, 格, 略, 客, 額, 夏, 処, 条, 落
CHAPTER 14 300-323 +24
冗, 軍, 輝, 運, 冠, 夢, 坑, 高, 享, 塾, 熟, 亭, 京, 涼, 景, 鯨, 舎, 周, 週, 士, 吉, 壮, 荘, 売
CHAPTER 15 324-352 +29
学, 覚, 栄, 書, 津, 牧, 攻, 敗, 枚, 故, 敬, 言, 警, 計, 獄, 訂, 討, 訓, 詔, 詰, 話, 詠, 詩, 語, 読, 調, 談, 諾, 諭
CHAPTER 16 353-369 +17
式, 試, 弐, 域, 賊, 栽, 載, 茂, 成, 城, 誠, 威, 滅, 減, 桟, 銭, 浅
CHAPTER 17 370-395 +26
止, 歩, 渉, 頻, 肯, 企, 歴, 武, 賦, 正, 証, 政, 定, 錠, 走, 超, 赴, 越, 是, 題, 堤, 建, 延, 誕, 礎, 婿
CHAPTER 18 396-475 +79
衣, 裁, 装, 裏, 壊, 哀, 遠, 猿, 初, 布, 帆, 幅, 帽, 幕, 幌, 錦, 市, 姉, 肺, 帯, 滞, 刺, 制, 製, 転, 芸, 雨, 雲, 曇, 雷, 霜,
冬, 天, 橋, 嬌, 立, 泣, 章, 競, 帝, 童, 瞳, 鐘, 商, 嫡, 適, 滴, 敵, 匕, 北, 背, 比, 昆, 皆, 混, 渇, 謁, 褐, 喝, 旨, 脂, 壱, 毎, 敏, 梅, 海, 乞, 乾, 腹, 複, 欠, 吹, 炊, 歌, 軟, 次, 茨, 資, 姿, 諮
CHAPTER 19 476-508 +32
賠, 培, 剖, 音, 暗, 韻, 識, 鏡, 境, 亡, 盲, 妄, 荒, 望, 方, 妨, 坊, 芳, 肪, 訪, 放, 激, 脱, 説, 鋭, 曽, 増, 贈, 東, 棟, 凍, 妊, 廷
CHAPTER 20 509-514 +6
染, 燃, 賓, 歳, 県, 栃
CHAPTER 21 515-577 +63
地, 池, 虫, 蛍, 蛇, 虹, 蝶, 独, 蚕, 風, 己, 起, 妃, 改, 記, 包, 胞, 砲, 泡, 亀, 電, 竜, 滝, 豚, 逐, 遂, 家, 嫁, 豪, 腸, 場, 湯, 羊, 美, 洋, 詳, 鮮, 達, 羨, 差, 着, 唯, 焦, 礁, 集, 准, 進, 雑, 雌, 準, 奮, 奪, 確, 午, 許, 歓, 権, 観, 羽, 習, 翌, 曜, 濯
CHAPTER 22 578-636 +59
曰, 困, 固, 国, 団, 因, 姻, 園, 回, 壇, 店, 庫, 庭, 庁, 床, 麻, 磨, 心, 忘, 忍, 認, 忌, 志, 誌, 忠, 串, 患, 思, 恩, 応, 意, 想, 息, 憩, 恵, 恐, 惑, 感, 憂, 寡, 忙, 悦, 恒, 悼, 悟, 怖, 慌, 悔, 憎, 慣, 愉, 惰, 慎, 憾, 憶, 慕, 添, 必, 泌
CHAPTER 23 637-766 +130
手, 看, 摩, 我, 義, 議, 犠, 抹, 抱, 搭, 抄, 抗, 批, 招, 拓, 拍, 打, 拘, 捨, 拐, 摘, 挑, 指, 持, 括, 揮, 推, 揚, 提, 損, 拾, 担, 拠, 描, 操, 接, 掲, 掛, 研, 戒, 械, 鼻, 刑, 型, 才, 財, 材, 存, 在, 乃, 携, 及, 吸, 扱, 丈, 史, 吏, 更, 硬, 又, 双, 桑, 隻, 護, 獲, 奴, 怒, 友, 抜, 投, 没, 設, 撃, 殻, 支, 技, 枝, 肢, 茎, 怪, 軽, 叔, 督, 寂, 淑, 反, 坂, 板, 返, 販, 爪, 妥, 乳, 浮, 将, 奨, 採, 菜, 受, 授, 愛, 払, 広, 拡, 鉱, 弁, 雄, 台, 怠, 治, 始, 胎, 窓, 去, 法, 会, 至, 室, 到, 致, 互, 棄, 育, 撤, 充, 銃, 硫, 流, 允, 唆
CHAPTER 24 767-795 +29
出, 山, 拙, 岩, 炭, 岐, 峠, 崩, 密, 蜜, 嵐, 崎, 入, 込, 分, 貧, 頒, 公, 松, 翁, 訟, 谷, 浴, 容, 溶, 欲, 裕, 鉛, 沿
CHAPTER 25 796-891 +96
賞, 党, 堂, 常, 裳, 掌, 皮, 波, 婆, 披, 破, 被, 残, 殉, 殊, 殖, 列, 裂, 烈, 死, 葬, 瞬, 耳, 取, 趣, 最, 撮, 恥, 職, 聖, 敢, 聴, 懐, 慢, 漫, 買, 置, 罰, 寧, 濁, 環, 還, 夫, 扶, 渓, 規, 替, 賛, 潜, 失, 鉄, 迭, 臣, 姫, 蔵, 臓, 賢, 堅, 臨, 覧, 巨, 拒, 力, 男, 労, 募, 劣, 功, 勧, 努, 励, 加, 賀, 架, 脇, 脅, 協, 行, 律, 復, 得, 従, 徒, 待, 往, 征, 径, 彼, 役, 徳, 徹, 徴, 懲, 微, 街, 衡
CHAPTER 26 892-950 +59
稿, 稼, 程, 税, 稚, 和, 移, 秒, 秋, 愁, 私, 秩, 秘, 称, 利, 梨, 穫, 穂, 稲, 香, 季, 委, 秀, 透, 誘, 穀, 菌, 米, 粉, 粘, 粒, 粧, 迷, 粋, 糧, 菊, 奥, 数, 楼, 類, 漆, 様, 求, 球, 救, 竹, 笑, 笠, 笹, 筋, 箱, 筆, 筒, 等, 算, 答, 策, 簿, 築
CHAPTER 27 951-1026 +76
人, 佐, 但, 住, 位, 仲, 体, 悠, 件, 仕, 他, 伏, 伝, 仏, 休, 仮, 伯, 俗, 信, 佳, 依, 例, 個, 健, 側, 侍, 停, 値, 倣, 倒, 偵, 僧, 億, 儀, 償, 仙, 催, 仁, 侮, 使, 便, 倍, 優, 伐, 宿, 傷, 保, 褒, 傑, 付, 符, 府, 任, 賃, 代, 袋, 貸, 化, 花, 貨, 傾, 何, 荷, 俊, 傍, 久, 畝, 囚, 内, 丙, 柄, 肉, 腐, 座, 卒, 傘
CHAPTER 28 1027-1044 +18
匁, 以, 似, 併, 瓦, 瓶, 宮, 営, 善, 年, 夜, 液, 塚, 幣, 弊, 喚, 換, 融
CHAPTER 29 1045-1085 +41
施, 旋, 遊, 旅, 勿, 物, 易, 賜, 尿, 尼, 泥, 塀, 履, 屋, 握, 屈, 掘, 堀, 居, 据, 層, 局, 遅, 漏, 刷, 尺, 尽, 沢, 訳, 択, 昼, 戸, 肩, 房, 扇, 炉, 戻, 涙, 雇, 顧, 啓
CHAPTER 30 1086-1124 +39
示, 礼, 祥, 祝, 福, 祉, 社, 視, 奈, 尉, 慰, 款, 禁, 襟, 宗, 崇, 祭, 察, 擦, 由, 抽, 油, 袖, 宙, 届, 笛, 軸, 甲, 押, 岬, 挿, 申, 伸, 神, 捜, 果, 菓, 課, 裸
CHAPTER 31 1125-1183 +59
斤, 析, 所, 祈, 近, 折, 哲, 逝, 誓, 暫, 漸, 断, 質, 斥, 訴, 昨, 詐, 作, 雪, 録, 尋, 急, 穏, 侵, 浸, 寝, 婦, 掃, 当, 争, 浄, 事, 唐, 糖, 康, 逮, 伊, 君, 群, 耐, 需, 儒, 端, 両, 満, 画, 歯, 曲, 曹, 遭, 漕, 槽, 斗, 料, 科, 図, 用, 庸, 備
CHAPTER 32 1184-1219 +36
昔, 錯, 借, 惜, 措, 散, 廿, 庶, 遮, 席, 度, 渡, 奔, 噴, 墳, 憤, 焼, 暁, 半, 伴, 畔, 判, 券, 巻, 圏, 勝, 藤, 謄, 片, 版, 之, 乏, 芝, 不, 否, 杯
CHAPTER 33 1220-1247 +28
矢, 矯, 族, 知, 智, 矛, 柔, 務, 霧, 班, 帰, 弓, 引, 弔, 弘, 強, 弱, 沸, 費, 第, 弟, 巧, 号, 朽, 誇, 汚, 与, 写
CHAPTER 34 1248-1293 +46
身, 射, 謝, 老, 考, 孝, 教, 拷, 者, 煮, 著, 署, 暑, 諸, 猪, 渚, 賭, 峡, 狭, 挟, 追, 師, 帥, 官, 棺, 管, 父, 交, 効, 較, 校, 足, 促, 距, 路, 露, 跳, 躍, 践, 踏, 骨, 滑, 髄, 禍, 渦, 過
CHAPTER 35 1294-1332 +39
阪, 阿, 際, 障, 随, 陪, 陽, 陳, 防, 附, 院, 陣, 隊, 墜, 降, 階, 陛, 隣, 隔, 隠, 堕, 陥, 穴, 空, 控, 突, 究, 窒, 窃, 窪, 搾, 窯, 窮, 探, 深, 丘, 岳, 兵, 浜
CHAPTER 36 1333-1394 +62
糸, 織, 繕, 縮, 繁, 縦, 線, 締, 維, 羅, 練, 緒, 続, 絵, 統, 絞, 給, 絡, 結, 終, 級, 紀, 紅, 納, 紡, 紛, 紹, 経, 紳, 約, 細, 累, 索, 総, 綿, 絹, 繰, 継, 緑, 縁, 網, 緊, 紫, 縛, 縄, 幼, 後, 幽, 幾, 機, 玄, 畜, 蓄, 弦, 擁, 滋, 慈, 磁, 系, 係, 孫, 懸
CHAPTER 37 1395-1426 +32
却, 脚, 卸, 御, 服, 命, 令, 零, 齢, 冷, 領, 鈴, 勇, 通, 踊, 疑, 擬, 凝, 範, 犯, 厄, 危, 宛, 腕, 苑, 怨, 柳, 卵, 留, 貿, 印, 興
CHAPTER 38 1427-1483 +57
酉, 酒, 酌, 酵, 酷, 酬, 酪, 酢, 酔, 配, 酸, 猶, 尊, 豆, 頭, 短, 豊, 鼓, 喜, 樹, 皿, 血, 盆, 盟, 盗, 温, 監, 濫, 鑑, 猛, 盛, 塩, 銀, 恨, 根, 即, 爵, 節, 退, 限, 眼, 良, 朗, 浪, 娘, 食, 飯, 飲, 飢, 餓, 飾, 館, 養, 飽, 既, 概, 慨
CHAPTER 39 1484-1530 +47
平, 呼, 坪, 評, 刈, 希, 凶, 胸, 離, 殺, 純, 鈍, 辛, 辞, 梓, 宰, 壁, 避, 新, 薪, 親, 幸, 執, 報, 叫, 糾, 収, 卑, 碑, 陸, 睦, 勢, 熱, 菱, 陵, 亥, 核, 刻, 該, 劾, 述, 術, 寒, 醸, 譲, 壌, 嬢
CHAPTER 40 1531-1586 +56
毒, 素, 麦, 青, 精, 請, 情, 晴, 清, 静, 責, 績, 積, 債, 漬, 表, 俵, 潔, 契, 喫, 害, 轄, 割, 憲, 生, 星, 姓, 性, 牲, 産, 隆, 峰, 縫, 拝, 寿, 鋳, 籍, 春, 椿, 泰, 奏, 実, 奉, 俸, 棒, 謹, 勤, 漢, 嘆, 難, 華, 垂, 睡, 錘, 乗, 剰
CHAPTER 41 1587-1615 +29
今, 含, 吟, 念, 琴, 陰, 予, 序, 預, 野, 兼, 嫌, 鎌, 謙, 廉, 西, 価, 要, 腰, 票, 漂, 標, 栗, 遷, 覆, 煙, 南, 楠, 献
CHAPTER 42 1616-1647 +32
門, 問, 閲, 閥, 間, 簡, 開, 閉, 閣, 閑, 聞, 潤, 欄, 闘, 倉, 創, 非, 俳, 排, 悲, 罪, 輩, 扉, 侯, 候, 決, 快, 偉, 違, 緯, 衛, 韓
CHAPTER 43 1648-1681 +34
干, 肝, 刊, 汗, 軒, 岸, 幹, 芋, 宇, 余, 除, 徐, 叙, 途, 斜, 塗, 束, 頼, 瀬, 勅, 疎, 速, 整, 剣, 険, 検, 倹, 重, 動, 勲, 働, 種, 衝, 薫
CHAPTER 44 1682-1709 +28
病, 痴, 痘, 症, 疾, 痢, 疲, 疫, 痛, 癖, 匿, 匠, 医, 匹, 区, 枢, 殴, 欧, 抑, 仰, 迎, 登, 澄, 発, 廃, 僚, 寮, 療
CHAPTER 45 1710-1756 +47
彫, 形, 影, 杉, 彩, 彰, 彦, 顔, 須, 膨, 参, 惨, 修, 珍, 診, 文, 対, 紋, 蚊, 斉, 剤, 済, 斎, 粛, 塁, 楽, 薬, 率, 渋, 摂, 央, 英, 映, 赤, 赦, 変, 跡, 蛮, 恋, 湾, 黄, 横, 把, 色, 絶, 艶, 肥
CHAPTER 46 1757-1775 +19
甘, 紺, 某, 謀, 媒, 欺, 棋, 旗, 期, 碁, 基, 甚, 勘, 堪, 貴, 遺, 遣, 舞, 無
CHAPTER 47 1776-1805 +30
組, 粗, 租, 祖, 阻, 査, 助, 宜, 畳, 並, 普, 譜, 湿, 顕, 繊, 霊, 業, 撲, 僕, 共, 供, 異, 翼, 洪, 港, 暴, 爆, 恭, 選, 殿
CHAPTER 48 1806-1827 +22
井, 囲, 耕, 亜, 悪, 円, 角, 触, 解, 再, 講, 購, 構, 溝, 論, 倫, 輪, 偏, 遍, 編, 冊, 典
CHAPTER 49 1828-1852 +25
氏, 紙, 婚, 低, 抵, 底, 民, 眠, 捕, 浦, 蒲, 舗, 補, 邸, 郭, 郡, 郊, 部, 都, 郵, 邦, 郷, 響, 郎, 廊
CHAPTER 50 1853-1879 +27
盾, 循, 派, 脈, 衆, 逓, 段, 鍛, 后, 幻, 司, 伺, 詞, 飼, 嗣, 舟, 舶, 航, 般, 盤, 搬, 船, 艦, 艇, 瓜, 弧, 孤
CHAPTER 51 1880-1903 +24
繭, 益, 暇, 敷, 来, 気, 汽, 飛, 沈, 妻, 衰, 衷, 面, 革, 靴, 覇, 声, 呉, 娯, 誤, 蒸, 承, 函, 極
CHAPTER 52 1904-1926 +23
牙, 芽, 邪, 雅, 釈, 番, 審, 翻, 藩, 毛, 耗, 尾, 宅, 託, 為, 偽, 長, 張, 帳, 脹, 髪, 展, 喪
CHAPTER 53 1927-1977 +51
巣, 単, 戦, 禅, 弾, 桜, 獣, 脳, 悩, 厳, 鎖, 挙, 誉, 猟, 鳥, 鳴, 鶴, 烏, 蔦, 鳩, 鶏, 島, 暖, 媛, 援, 緩, 属, 嘱, 偶, 遇, 愚, 隅, 逆, 塑, 岡, 鋼, 綱, 剛, 缶, 陶, 揺, 謡, 就, 懇, 墾, 免, 逸, 晩, 勉, 象, 像
CHAPTER 54 1978-2005 +28
馬, 駒, 験, 騎, 駐, 駆, 駅, 騒, 駄, 驚, 篤, 騰, 虎, 虜, 膚, 虚, 戯, 虞, 慮, 劇, 虐, 鹿, 薦, 慶, 麗, 熊, 能, 態
CHAPTER 55 2006-2025 +20
寅, 演, 辰, 辱, 震, 振, 娠, 唇, 農, 濃, 送, 関, 咲, 鬼, 醜, 魂, 魔, 魅, 塊, 襲
CHAPTER 56 2026-2042 +17
嚇, 朕, 雰, 箇, 錬, 遵, 罷, 屯, 且, 藻, 隷, 癒, 丹, 潟, 丑, 卯, 巳
FIN X)
I'm soooooooo far from chapter nineteen right now. :) I'm still in chapter four and five. If you're using this book, tell me where you're at in a comment! Do you like the book? Are you dying with anticipation? Is it boring?
LATER EDIT: ...ironically... I'm in chapter 19 right now. hee hee. accomplishing is lots of fun.
UPDATE! MORE KANJI! UPDATE!
LATER EDIT - SA / 8-13-11 / 12:54: - I'm going to add the rest of them now... sorry I didn't have this done before! I've decided: Since I'm really truly going to finish the book, I should make ALL the digital flashcards on Anki right away. Before, I had been adding cards each time I learned new Kanji, and that is a terrible waste of time!!! To me, 2042 looks simple at first, but when I realize how big that number is, I freak out and only half-way commit myself... so now I'm committing to finishing all of them, even if I die first.
For other stuff I'm using to learn Japanese, check out my study log at TheJapanesePage.com - Caladwenaeariel's Study Log.
CHAPTER 1
一, 二, 三, 四, 五, 六, 七, 八, 九, 十, 口, 日, 月, 田, 目
CHAPTER 2
古, 吾, 冒, 朋, 明, 唱, 晶, 品, 呂, 昌, 早, 旭, 世, 胃, 旦, 胆, 亘, 凹, 凸
CHAPTER 3
旧, 自, 白, 百, 中, 千, 舌, 升, 昇, 丸, 寸, 専, 博, 占, 上, 下, 卓, 朝
CHAPTER 4
只, 貝, 貞, 員, 見, 児, 元, 頁, 頑, 凡, 負, 万, 句, 肌, 旬, 勺, 的, 首
CHAPTER 5 71-94
乙, 乱, 直, 具, 真, 工, 左, 右, 有, 賄, 貢, 項, 刀, 刃, 切, 召, 昭, 則, 副, 別, 丁, 町, 可, 頂
CHAPTER 6 95-104
子, 孔, 了, 女, 好, 如, 母, 貫, 兄, 克
CHAPTER 7 105-126
小, 少, 大, 多, 夕, 汐, 外, 名, 石, 肖, 硝, 砕, 砂, 削, 光, 太, 器, 臭, 妙, 省, 厚, 奇
CHAPTER 8 127-172 +46
川, 州, 順, 水, 氷, 永, 泉, 原, 願, 泳, 沼, 沖, 江, 汁, 潮, 源, 活, 消, 況, 河, 泊, 湖, 測, 土, 吐, 圧, 埼, 垣, 圭, 封, 涯,
寺, 時, 均, 火, 炎, 煩, 淡, 灯, 畑, 災, 灰, 点, 照, 魚, 漁
CHAPTER 9 173-194 +22
里, 黒, 墨, 鯉, 量, 厘, 埋, 同, 洞, 胴, 向, 尚, 字, 守, 完, 宣, 宵, 安, 宴, 寄, 富, 貯
CHAPTER 10 195-234 +40
木, 林, 森, 桂, 柏, 枠, 梢, 棚, 杏, 桐, 植, 枯, 朴, 村, 相, 机, 本, 札, 暦, 案, 燥, 未, 末, 沫, 味, 妹, 朱, 株, 若, 草, 苦, 寛, 薄, 葉, 模, 漠, 墓, 暮, 膜, 苗
CHAPTER 11 235-249 +15
兆, 桃, 眺, 犬, 状, 黙, 然, 荻, 狩, 猫, 牛, 特, 告, 先, 洗
CHAPTER 12 250-276 +27
介, 界, 茶, 合, 塔, 王, 玉, 宝, 珠, 現, 狂, 皇, 呈, 全, 栓, 理, 主, 注, 柱, 金, 銑, 鉢, 銅, 釣, 針, 銘, 鎮
CHAPTER 13 277-299 +23
道, 導, 辻, 迅, 造, 迫, 逃, 辺, 巡, 車, 連, 軌, 輸, 前, 各, 格, 略, 客, 額, 夏, 処, 条, 落
CHAPTER 14 300-323 +24
冗, 軍, 輝, 運, 冠, 夢, 坑, 高, 享, 塾, 熟, 亭, 京, 涼, 景, 鯨, 舎, 周, 週, 士, 吉, 壮, 荘, 売
CHAPTER 15 324-352 +29
学, 覚, 栄, 書, 津, 牧, 攻, 敗, 枚, 故, 敬, 言, 警, 計, 獄, 訂, 討, 訓, 詔, 詰, 話, 詠, 詩, 語, 読, 調, 談, 諾, 諭
CHAPTER 16 353-369 +17
式, 試, 弐, 域, 賊, 栽, 載, 茂, 成, 城, 誠, 威, 滅, 減, 桟, 銭, 浅
CHAPTER 17 370-395 +26
止, 歩, 渉, 頻, 肯, 企, 歴, 武, 賦, 正, 証, 政, 定, 錠, 走, 超, 赴, 越, 是, 題, 堤, 建, 延, 誕, 礎, 婿
CHAPTER 18 396-475 +79
衣, 裁, 装, 裏, 壊, 哀, 遠, 猿, 初, 布, 帆, 幅, 帽, 幕, 幌, 錦, 市, 姉, 肺, 帯, 滞, 刺, 制, 製, 転, 芸, 雨, 雲, 曇, 雷, 霜,
冬, 天, 橋, 嬌, 立, 泣, 章, 競, 帝, 童, 瞳, 鐘, 商, 嫡, 適, 滴, 敵, 匕, 北, 背, 比, 昆, 皆, 混, 渇, 謁, 褐, 喝, 旨, 脂, 壱, 毎, 敏, 梅, 海, 乞, 乾, 腹, 複, 欠, 吹, 炊, 歌, 軟, 次, 茨, 資, 姿, 諮
CHAPTER 19 476-508 +32
賠, 培, 剖, 音, 暗, 韻, 識, 鏡, 境, 亡, 盲, 妄, 荒, 望, 方, 妨, 坊, 芳, 肪, 訪, 放, 激, 脱, 説, 鋭, 曽, 増, 贈, 東, 棟, 凍, 妊, 廷
CHAPTER 20 509-514 +6
染, 燃, 賓, 歳, 県, 栃
CHAPTER 21 515-577 +63
地, 池, 虫, 蛍, 蛇, 虹, 蝶, 独, 蚕, 風, 己, 起, 妃, 改, 記, 包, 胞, 砲, 泡, 亀, 電, 竜, 滝, 豚, 逐, 遂, 家, 嫁, 豪, 腸, 場, 湯, 羊, 美, 洋, 詳, 鮮, 達, 羨, 差, 着, 唯, 焦, 礁, 集, 准, 進, 雑, 雌, 準, 奮, 奪, 確, 午, 許, 歓, 権, 観, 羽, 習, 翌, 曜, 濯
CHAPTER 22 578-636 +59
曰, 困, 固, 国, 団, 因, 姻, 園, 回, 壇, 店, 庫, 庭, 庁, 床, 麻, 磨, 心, 忘, 忍, 認, 忌, 志, 誌, 忠, 串, 患, 思, 恩, 応, 意, 想, 息, 憩, 恵, 恐, 惑, 感, 憂, 寡, 忙, 悦, 恒, 悼, 悟, 怖, 慌, 悔, 憎, 慣, 愉, 惰, 慎, 憾, 憶, 慕, 添, 必, 泌
CHAPTER 23 637-766 +130
手, 看, 摩, 我, 義, 議, 犠, 抹, 抱, 搭, 抄, 抗, 批, 招, 拓, 拍, 打, 拘, 捨, 拐, 摘, 挑, 指, 持, 括, 揮, 推, 揚, 提, 損, 拾, 担, 拠, 描, 操, 接, 掲, 掛, 研, 戒, 械, 鼻, 刑, 型, 才, 財, 材, 存, 在, 乃, 携, 及, 吸, 扱, 丈, 史, 吏, 更, 硬, 又, 双, 桑, 隻, 護, 獲, 奴, 怒, 友, 抜, 投, 没, 設, 撃, 殻, 支, 技, 枝, 肢, 茎, 怪, 軽, 叔, 督, 寂, 淑, 反, 坂, 板, 返, 販, 爪, 妥, 乳, 浮, 将, 奨, 採, 菜, 受, 授, 愛, 払, 広, 拡, 鉱, 弁, 雄, 台, 怠, 治, 始, 胎, 窓, 去, 法, 会, 至, 室, 到, 致, 互, 棄, 育, 撤, 充, 銃, 硫, 流, 允, 唆
CHAPTER 24 767-795 +29
出, 山, 拙, 岩, 炭, 岐, 峠, 崩, 密, 蜜, 嵐, 崎, 入, 込, 分, 貧, 頒, 公, 松, 翁, 訟, 谷, 浴, 容, 溶, 欲, 裕, 鉛, 沿
CHAPTER 25 796-891 +96
賞, 党, 堂, 常, 裳, 掌, 皮, 波, 婆, 披, 破, 被, 残, 殉, 殊, 殖, 列, 裂, 烈, 死, 葬, 瞬, 耳, 取, 趣, 最, 撮, 恥, 職, 聖, 敢, 聴, 懐, 慢, 漫, 買, 置, 罰, 寧, 濁, 環, 還, 夫, 扶, 渓, 規, 替, 賛, 潜, 失, 鉄, 迭, 臣, 姫, 蔵, 臓, 賢, 堅, 臨, 覧, 巨, 拒, 力, 男, 労, 募, 劣, 功, 勧, 努, 励, 加, 賀, 架, 脇, 脅, 協, 行, 律, 復, 得, 従, 徒, 待, 往, 征, 径, 彼, 役, 徳, 徹, 徴, 懲, 微, 街, 衡
CHAPTER 26 892-950 +59
稿, 稼, 程, 税, 稚, 和, 移, 秒, 秋, 愁, 私, 秩, 秘, 称, 利, 梨, 穫, 穂, 稲, 香, 季, 委, 秀, 透, 誘, 穀, 菌, 米, 粉, 粘, 粒, 粧, 迷, 粋, 糧, 菊, 奥, 数, 楼, 類, 漆, 様, 求, 球, 救, 竹, 笑, 笠, 笹, 筋, 箱, 筆, 筒, 等, 算, 答, 策, 簿, 築
CHAPTER 27 951-1026 +76
人, 佐, 但, 住, 位, 仲, 体, 悠, 件, 仕, 他, 伏, 伝, 仏, 休, 仮, 伯, 俗, 信, 佳, 依, 例, 個, 健, 側, 侍, 停, 値, 倣, 倒, 偵, 僧, 億, 儀, 償, 仙, 催, 仁, 侮, 使, 便, 倍, 優, 伐, 宿, 傷, 保, 褒, 傑, 付, 符, 府, 任, 賃, 代, 袋, 貸, 化, 花, 貨, 傾, 何, 荷, 俊, 傍, 久, 畝, 囚, 内, 丙, 柄, 肉, 腐, 座, 卒, 傘
CHAPTER 28 1027-1044 +18
匁, 以, 似, 併, 瓦, 瓶, 宮, 営, 善, 年, 夜, 液, 塚, 幣, 弊, 喚, 換, 融
CHAPTER 29 1045-1085 +41
施, 旋, 遊, 旅, 勿, 物, 易, 賜, 尿, 尼, 泥, 塀, 履, 屋, 握, 屈, 掘, 堀, 居, 据, 層, 局, 遅, 漏, 刷, 尺, 尽, 沢, 訳, 択, 昼, 戸, 肩, 房, 扇, 炉, 戻, 涙, 雇, 顧, 啓
CHAPTER 30 1086-1124 +39
示, 礼, 祥, 祝, 福, 祉, 社, 視, 奈, 尉, 慰, 款, 禁, 襟, 宗, 崇, 祭, 察, 擦, 由, 抽, 油, 袖, 宙, 届, 笛, 軸, 甲, 押, 岬, 挿, 申, 伸, 神, 捜, 果, 菓, 課, 裸
CHAPTER 31 1125-1183 +59
斤, 析, 所, 祈, 近, 折, 哲, 逝, 誓, 暫, 漸, 断, 質, 斥, 訴, 昨, 詐, 作, 雪, 録, 尋, 急, 穏, 侵, 浸, 寝, 婦, 掃, 当, 争, 浄, 事, 唐, 糖, 康, 逮, 伊, 君, 群, 耐, 需, 儒, 端, 両, 満, 画, 歯, 曲, 曹, 遭, 漕, 槽, 斗, 料, 科, 図, 用, 庸, 備
CHAPTER 32 1184-1219 +36
昔, 錯, 借, 惜, 措, 散, 廿, 庶, 遮, 席, 度, 渡, 奔, 噴, 墳, 憤, 焼, 暁, 半, 伴, 畔, 判, 券, 巻, 圏, 勝, 藤, 謄, 片, 版, 之, 乏, 芝, 不, 否, 杯
CHAPTER 33 1220-1247 +28
矢, 矯, 族, 知, 智, 矛, 柔, 務, 霧, 班, 帰, 弓, 引, 弔, 弘, 強, 弱, 沸, 費, 第, 弟, 巧, 号, 朽, 誇, 汚, 与, 写
CHAPTER 34 1248-1293 +46
身, 射, 謝, 老, 考, 孝, 教, 拷, 者, 煮, 著, 署, 暑, 諸, 猪, 渚, 賭, 峡, 狭, 挟, 追, 師, 帥, 官, 棺, 管, 父, 交, 効, 較, 校, 足, 促, 距, 路, 露, 跳, 躍, 践, 踏, 骨, 滑, 髄, 禍, 渦, 過
CHAPTER 35 1294-1332 +39
阪, 阿, 際, 障, 随, 陪, 陽, 陳, 防, 附, 院, 陣, 隊, 墜, 降, 階, 陛, 隣, 隔, 隠, 堕, 陥, 穴, 空, 控, 突, 究, 窒, 窃, 窪, 搾, 窯, 窮, 探, 深, 丘, 岳, 兵, 浜
CHAPTER 36 1333-1394 +62
糸, 織, 繕, 縮, 繁, 縦, 線, 締, 維, 羅, 練, 緒, 続, 絵, 統, 絞, 給, 絡, 結, 終, 級, 紀, 紅, 納, 紡, 紛, 紹, 経, 紳, 約, 細, 累, 索, 総, 綿, 絹, 繰, 継, 緑, 縁, 網, 緊, 紫, 縛, 縄, 幼, 後, 幽, 幾, 機, 玄, 畜, 蓄, 弦, 擁, 滋, 慈, 磁, 系, 係, 孫, 懸
CHAPTER 37 1395-1426 +32
却, 脚, 卸, 御, 服, 命, 令, 零, 齢, 冷, 領, 鈴, 勇, 通, 踊, 疑, 擬, 凝, 範, 犯, 厄, 危, 宛, 腕, 苑, 怨, 柳, 卵, 留, 貿, 印, 興
CHAPTER 38 1427-1483 +57
酉, 酒, 酌, 酵, 酷, 酬, 酪, 酢, 酔, 配, 酸, 猶, 尊, 豆, 頭, 短, 豊, 鼓, 喜, 樹, 皿, 血, 盆, 盟, 盗, 温, 監, 濫, 鑑, 猛, 盛, 塩, 銀, 恨, 根, 即, 爵, 節, 退, 限, 眼, 良, 朗, 浪, 娘, 食, 飯, 飲, 飢, 餓, 飾, 館, 養, 飽, 既, 概, 慨
CHAPTER 39 1484-1530 +47
平, 呼, 坪, 評, 刈, 希, 凶, 胸, 離, 殺, 純, 鈍, 辛, 辞, 梓, 宰, 壁, 避, 新, 薪, 親, 幸, 執, 報, 叫, 糾, 収, 卑, 碑, 陸, 睦, 勢, 熱, 菱, 陵, 亥, 核, 刻, 該, 劾, 述, 術, 寒, 醸, 譲, 壌, 嬢
CHAPTER 40 1531-1586 +56
毒, 素, 麦, 青, 精, 請, 情, 晴, 清, 静, 責, 績, 積, 債, 漬, 表, 俵, 潔, 契, 喫, 害, 轄, 割, 憲, 生, 星, 姓, 性, 牲, 産, 隆, 峰, 縫, 拝, 寿, 鋳, 籍, 春, 椿, 泰, 奏, 実, 奉, 俸, 棒, 謹, 勤, 漢, 嘆, 難, 華, 垂, 睡, 錘, 乗, 剰
CHAPTER 41 1587-1615 +29
今, 含, 吟, 念, 琴, 陰, 予, 序, 預, 野, 兼, 嫌, 鎌, 謙, 廉, 西, 価, 要, 腰, 票, 漂, 標, 栗, 遷, 覆, 煙, 南, 楠, 献
CHAPTER 42 1616-1647 +32
門, 問, 閲, 閥, 間, 簡, 開, 閉, 閣, 閑, 聞, 潤, 欄, 闘, 倉, 創, 非, 俳, 排, 悲, 罪, 輩, 扉, 侯, 候, 決, 快, 偉, 違, 緯, 衛, 韓
CHAPTER 43 1648-1681 +34
干, 肝, 刊, 汗, 軒, 岸, 幹, 芋, 宇, 余, 除, 徐, 叙, 途, 斜, 塗, 束, 頼, 瀬, 勅, 疎, 速, 整, 剣, 険, 検, 倹, 重, 動, 勲, 働, 種, 衝, 薫
CHAPTER 44 1682-1709 +28
病, 痴, 痘, 症, 疾, 痢, 疲, 疫, 痛, 癖, 匿, 匠, 医, 匹, 区, 枢, 殴, 欧, 抑, 仰, 迎, 登, 澄, 発, 廃, 僚, 寮, 療
CHAPTER 45 1710-1756 +47
彫, 形, 影, 杉, 彩, 彰, 彦, 顔, 須, 膨, 参, 惨, 修, 珍, 診, 文, 対, 紋, 蚊, 斉, 剤, 済, 斎, 粛, 塁, 楽, 薬, 率, 渋, 摂, 央, 英, 映, 赤, 赦, 変, 跡, 蛮, 恋, 湾, 黄, 横, 把, 色, 絶, 艶, 肥
CHAPTER 46 1757-1775 +19
甘, 紺, 某, 謀, 媒, 欺, 棋, 旗, 期, 碁, 基, 甚, 勘, 堪, 貴, 遺, 遣, 舞, 無
CHAPTER 47 1776-1805 +30
組, 粗, 租, 祖, 阻, 査, 助, 宜, 畳, 並, 普, 譜, 湿, 顕, 繊, 霊, 業, 撲, 僕, 共, 供, 異, 翼, 洪, 港, 暴, 爆, 恭, 選, 殿
CHAPTER 48 1806-1827 +22
井, 囲, 耕, 亜, 悪, 円, 角, 触, 解, 再, 講, 購, 構, 溝, 論, 倫, 輪, 偏, 遍, 編, 冊, 典
CHAPTER 49 1828-1852 +25
氏, 紙, 婚, 低, 抵, 底, 民, 眠, 捕, 浦, 蒲, 舗, 補, 邸, 郭, 郡, 郊, 部, 都, 郵, 邦, 郷, 響, 郎, 廊
CHAPTER 50 1853-1879 +27
盾, 循, 派, 脈, 衆, 逓, 段, 鍛, 后, 幻, 司, 伺, 詞, 飼, 嗣, 舟, 舶, 航, 般, 盤, 搬, 船, 艦, 艇, 瓜, 弧, 孤
CHAPTER 51 1880-1903 +24
繭, 益, 暇, 敷, 来, 気, 汽, 飛, 沈, 妻, 衰, 衷, 面, 革, 靴, 覇, 声, 呉, 娯, 誤, 蒸, 承, 函, 極
CHAPTER 52 1904-1926 +23
牙, 芽, 邪, 雅, 釈, 番, 審, 翻, 藩, 毛, 耗, 尾, 宅, 託, 為, 偽, 長, 張, 帳, 脹, 髪, 展, 喪
CHAPTER 53 1927-1977 +51
巣, 単, 戦, 禅, 弾, 桜, 獣, 脳, 悩, 厳, 鎖, 挙, 誉, 猟, 鳥, 鳴, 鶴, 烏, 蔦, 鳩, 鶏, 島, 暖, 媛, 援, 緩, 属, 嘱, 偶, 遇, 愚, 隅, 逆, 塑, 岡, 鋼, 綱, 剛, 缶, 陶, 揺, 謡, 就, 懇, 墾, 免, 逸, 晩, 勉, 象, 像
CHAPTER 54 1978-2005 +28
馬, 駒, 験, 騎, 駐, 駆, 駅, 騒, 駄, 驚, 篤, 騰, 虎, 虜, 膚, 虚, 戯, 虞, 慮, 劇, 虐, 鹿, 薦, 慶, 麗, 熊, 能, 態
CHAPTER 55 2006-2025 +20
寅, 演, 辰, 辱, 震, 振, 娠, 唇, 農, 濃, 送, 関, 咲, 鬼, 醜, 魂, 魔, 魅, 塊, 襲
CHAPTER 56 2026-2042 +17
嚇, 朕, 雰, 箇, 錬, 遵, 罷, 屯, 且, 藻, 隷, 癒, 丹, 潟, 丑, 卯, 巳
FIN X)
I'm soooooooo far from chapter nineteen right now. :) I'm still in chapter four and five. If you're using this book, tell me where you're at in a comment! Do you like the book? Are you dying with anticipation? Is it boring?
LATER EDIT: ...ironically... I'm in chapter 19 right now. hee hee. accomplishing is lots of fun.
Like THAT!!!!
ooookay. inspirational time!
The best way to get something done effectively, truly, truly, efficiently I mean, is to make (or schedule) and follow the time. I don't follow time because I'm simply never doing anything. So it's easy to get behind when I need to do something and I never start. Basically I'm saying I have free time and some time to do work, but I put off work.
The solution???!!! Is to do the work at a certain time every day! To work within LIMITS!
Yup.
5-6: up, exercise, eat, dress.
8: pills
after 8 or before (ASAP): homework due, studies (school), independent studies, piano.
8: pills
9-10: bed/lights
like THAT.
The best way to get something done effectively, truly, truly, efficiently I mean, is to make (or schedule) and follow the time. I don't follow time because I'm simply never doing anything. So it's easy to get behind when I need to do something and I never start. Basically I'm saying I have free time and some time to do work, but I put off work.
The solution???!!! Is to do the work at a certain time every day! To work within LIMITS!
Yup.
5-6: up, exercise, eat, dress.
8: pills
after 8 or before (ASAP): homework due, studies (school), independent studies, piano.
8: pills
9-10: bed/lights
like THAT.
Goal Tomorrow...
Tomorrow, I want to do my homework BEFORE other things. I'm writing to hopefully ingrain this *important* idea a little bit better.
I started this post at like... 11pm or something... but now it's one! I was happy to be posting NOT in the middle of the night, but whatever. I don't know what else I was going to write anymore, so maybe later I'll write something more inspiring... blegh:)
I started this post at like... 11pm or something... but now it's one! I was happy to be posting NOT in the middle of the night, but whatever. I don't know what else I was going to write anymore, so maybe later I'll write something more inspiring... blegh:)
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Edit3
more things for studying improvement:
1. pick JUST ONE THING to focus on, and DO NOT imagine doing the other parts. Even tell yourself that you don't have to do any other parts.
2. start this process earlier.
I got 人間失格 in the mail today! (You say "Ningen Shikkaku" or "No Longer Human"). I didn't buy it from Japan, but that's where it came from, so it's ALL in Japanese. I'm not going to be able to read it thoroughly for at least a year, I'm pretty sure, but it's inspiration at least. I can also look at it and find kanji that I've learned already. It's quite a lot of fun when that happens.
1. pick JUST ONE THING to focus on, and DO NOT imagine doing the other parts. Even tell yourself that you don't have to do any other parts.
2. start this process earlier.
I got 人間失格 in the mail today! (You say "Ningen Shikkaku" or "No Longer Human"). I didn't buy it from Japan, but that's where it came from, so it's ALL in Japanese. I'm not going to be able to read it thoroughly for at least a year, I'm pretty sure, but it's inspiration at least. I can also look at it and find kanji that I've learned already. It's quite a lot of fun when that happens.
Trick me to do hmwk!
So, I've discovered even more details on how to get myself to study when I don't want to (I REALLY have trouble actually starting).
I guess, for me, that studying is easier when I start while doing something else. Like, I don't mind studying if I started while I was eating, because I feel like I'm doing something useful that I want to be doing, and by the time I've been working on homework for a while, I've already started and I have the need to finish. But sometimes I just don't want to start and I haven't been able to get over it until I thought of this way.
Also, right now I'm going to start while snacking and listening to music in my room, at my desk. But first, I'm going to put a rubber band on my chair leg, attaching a ribbon, then tie my leg to the chair in a bow. This will remind me not to leave until the homework is finished. If I do leave, I have to come back ASAP.
This will at least help me get some better habits that result in better grades. I may never cultivate a habit of studying regularly just to study, but if I can devise a sort of way to trick myself into doing it because I'm doing something else at the same time, it's a different things than just "studying regularly" but still accomplishes basically the same thing.
I guess, for me, that studying is easier when I start while doing something else. Like, I don't mind studying if I started while I was eating, because I feel like I'm doing something useful that I want to be doing, and by the time I've been working on homework for a while, I've already started and I have the need to finish. But sometimes I just don't want to start and I haven't been able to get over it until I thought of this way.
Also, right now I'm going to start while snacking and listening to music in my room, at my desk. But first, I'm going to put a rubber band on my chair leg, attaching a ribbon, then tie my leg to the chair in a bow. This will remind me not to leave until the homework is finished. If I do leave, I have to come back ASAP.
This will at least help me get some better habits that result in better grades. I may never cultivate a habit of studying regularly just to study, but if I can devise a sort of way to trick myself into doing it because I'm doing something else at the same time, it's a different things than just "studying regularly" but still accomplishes basically the same thing.
* ** * * * * * * * * ** * * *Bleeww Stars * ** * * * * * * * ** * * *
I'm slowly straightening my life out. My problems.. I guess... are not being able to finish any tasks, not having a good source of income, and not living in a scheduled sort of way.
I think what I need to do differently is to make sure that I finish the really obvious things first: that means my homework and getting enough sleep. Not having enough moolah hasn't killed me yet because I make enough to pay rent (but I do need a better job). So those things are things I will PRIORITIZE.
Also, it really HELPS!!! me to write down a broken-down list of one task (like cleaning my room) or in my head (for a homework assignment). After breaking those things down, I focus ONLY ONLY ONLY on one item, and when I finish that one, I can move on to the next one. If I get distracted, it's okay, and I can also take breaks, but I have to come BACK to that one item, not get distracted and move on to some other item or even another task.
This idea helps because my brain doesn't normally break things down and stay with the small broken-down parts, I just think, "Ohhh so much stuff. I'll go do something else... first... or maybe I'll just do this later, whenever that might be!! Maybe I'll wait until the end of the world... or sometime before or after--........"
I also know for a fact that I study better when I'm stuck somewhere or in a place without distractions, like (specifically) a car. So I'm going to try and make study spaces-- in my closet and under my bed, also my couch, and maybe elsewhere in the house if possible, and see what works.
Here are some things that I'm going to be doing and want to remember to do! (To simplify my life and get the stuff done that's necessary for succeeding in school and becoming confident.)
* rubberband a ribbon to my chair leg!
* clean out my closet-- table!
* keep working on task completion each day, one @ a time [piano, bible, japanese, exercise, homework, sleep]
* put pink-purple-white under desk!
throw away/give away=> rearrange
pc + couch + bed
bookcase ~ studying
* do hmwk + sleep 1st so I can say YES to work as a fulltime job. (if it doesn't become FT, look 4 something else, esp. something that I could lose weight doing OR is really easy, or the other.)
I'm slowly straightening my life out. My problems.. I guess... are not being able to finish any tasks, not having a good source of income, and not living in a scheduled sort of way.
I think what I need to do differently is to make sure that I finish the really obvious things first: that means my homework and getting enough sleep. Not having enough moolah hasn't killed me yet because I make enough to pay rent (but I do need a better job). So those things are things I will PRIORITIZE.
Also, it really HELPS!!! me to write down a broken-down list of one task (like cleaning my room) or in my head (for a homework assignment). After breaking those things down, I focus ONLY ONLY ONLY on one item, and when I finish that one, I can move on to the next one. If I get distracted, it's okay, and I can also take breaks, but I have to come BACK to that one item, not get distracted and move on to some other item or even another task.
This idea helps because my brain doesn't normally break things down and stay with the small broken-down parts, I just think, "Ohhh so much stuff. I'll go do something else... first... or maybe I'll just do this later, whenever that might be!! Maybe I'll wait until the end of the world... or sometime before or after--........"
I also know for a fact that I study better when I'm stuck somewhere or in a place without distractions, like (specifically) a car. So I'm going to try and make study spaces-- in my closet and under my bed, also my couch, and maybe elsewhere in the house if possible, and see what works.
Here are some things that I'm going to be doing and want to remember to do! (To simplify my life and get the stuff done that's necessary for succeeding in school and becoming confident.)
* rubberband a ribbon to my chair leg!
* clean out my closet-- table!
* keep working on task completion each day, one @ a time [piano, bible, japanese, exercise, homework, sleep]
* put pink-purple-white under desk!
throw away/give away=> rearrange
pc + couch + bed
bookcase ~ studying
* do hmwk + sleep 1st so I can say YES to work as a fulltime job. (if it doesn't become FT, look 4 something else, esp. something that I could lose weight doing OR is really easy, or the other.)
Friday, January 14, 2011
Hmmmm
I am at school right now, in the computer lab. It is a very nice computer lab. I felt like typing... it makes me feel busy, when I don't know what to do with myself. Is that weird? I don't get it...?
I am hoping that I will get this assignment done without getting lazy and having the feeling that I need to leave. Haha. Stay with it, Cara....
Anyway, the computers are MACs, and they are fun to use because I like trying different types of computer systems. We also get to use Finale, a SIX HUNDRED DOLLAR PROGRAM at normal price. Bleagh. I would like to have a program like Finale! (It's $350 for some students).
The people in the lab are making fun, talking in other languages and weird accents. It is funny and distracting.
I am hoping that I will get this assignment done without getting lazy and having the feeling that I need to leave. Haha. Stay with it, Cara....
Anyway, the computers are MACs, and they are fun to use because I like trying different types of computer systems. We also get to use Finale, a SIX HUNDRED DOLLAR PROGRAM at normal price. Bleagh. I would like to have a program like Finale! (It's $350 for some students).
The people in the lab are making fun, talking in other languages and weird accents. It is funny and distracting.
Edit2
It's going down the drain. Can I fix it? Will I be able to?
I missed class today. I was late. Being late makes me depressed, and then I avoid going at all. But I don't think I could have made it, and that's why I didn't try.
Anyway, I want to never do that again. It's nice to imagine a good ending.
Okay. Here's my list again, updated with ideas/tips for what I want to do tomorrow, an X means I did it today like I was supposed to:
It's... JANUARY
[X] exercise
[ ] homework and chores NOW not later, imagine do homework and chores everyday ahead of time as much as possible.
[ ]work on job searching progress as time allows, goal is to find a job ASAP
[ ]japanese (ch 3+4)
[ ]clean room entirely
[ ]piano real 20
[ ]bible 10
I missed class today. I was late. Being late makes me depressed, and then I avoid going at all. But I don't think I could have made it, and that's why I didn't try.
Anyway, I want to never do that again. It's nice to imagine a good ending.
Okay. Here's my list again, updated with ideas/tips for what I want to do tomorrow, an X means I did it today like I was supposed to:
It's... JANUARY
[X] exercise
[ ] homework and chores NOW not later, imagine do homework and chores everyday ahead of time as much as possible.
[ ]work on job searching progress as time allows, goal is to find a job ASAP
[ ]japanese (ch 3+4)
[ ]clean room entirely
[ ]piano real 20
[ ]bible 10
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Void, Darkness.
School is scary. My assignments stop me in my tracks. I feel like I'm in darkness, or worse, a void of nothing-- and I simply don't want to try to find my way out. I'm hiding in the corner, pressed up against a wall, curling myself around my legs, pretending I don't exist.
But the logical truth is that all I have to do is stand up, and I'll feel the trapdoor right above my head, shutting out the light-- but if I stood up, I would bump my head and the light, blinding, bright, and sudden, would tell me where I was.
So here I am, struggling, and I thought that eventually I wouldn't have confusing thoughts in my life and I wouldn't have the need to complain and worry about every little thing. But I guess that's just how I am! I like to worry about the details. In some ways, that helps me in life.
But I have to accept that taking classes is GOING to feel like this to me-- why would it have changed? I just WANT to avoid things that I "make" myself do. I haven't reached the point where I stop feeling like someone's making me do it-- all I'm doing at school is EXPLORING (i.e. learning) and it is NOT something to be scared of (and therefore avoid).
How can I remind myself to keep from avoiding and being scared for no reason? I'm trying so hard, but I'm pushing in the wrong direction.
But the logical truth is that all I have to do is stand up, and I'll feel the trapdoor right above my head, shutting out the light-- but if I stood up, I would bump my head and the light, blinding, bright, and sudden, would tell me where I was.
So here I am, struggling, and I thought that eventually I wouldn't have confusing thoughts in my life and I wouldn't have the need to complain and worry about every little thing. But I guess that's just how I am! I like to worry about the details. In some ways, that helps me in life.
But I have to accept that taking classes is GOING to feel like this to me-- why would it have changed? I just WANT to avoid things that I "make" myself do. I haven't reached the point where I stop feeling like someone's making me do it-- all I'm doing at school is EXPLORING (i.e. learning) and it is NOT something to be scared of (and therefore avoid).
How can I remind myself to keep from avoiding and being scared for no reason? I'm trying so hard, but I'm pushing in the wrong direction.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Edit1
JANUARY
wk 2...12-14: lose weight by exercising (record on wall)
japanese: finish two chapters (that's 3 and 4.)
clean room entirely. [THIS IS ACTUALLY IMPORTANT, YOU KNOW?]
practice piano, real, 20 min a day.
read the bible, 10 min a day.
ALL DAYS:
exercise everyday.
do homework and chores everyday ahead of time as much as possible.
work on job searching progress as time allows, goal is to find a job ASAP. (... can't open christmas presents... !)LOOK FORWARD TO 134.
This is a lot harder than it looks. Ummmm.... 1. don't feel bad when u mess up. 2. try anyway. 3. do one thing, then the next. 4. go to bed. (and do yr hmwk.) 5. just say yes to work instead. Sa, ikuso! (please ignore my imaginary ramblings in what I think is another language.)
New Study Strategy
I'm in school right now, and I'm assigned things. But I have things that I want to learn WITHOUT going to school.
I have a hard time... assigning myself things....
So I'm going to write it down, and make the assignments NOT few, but MANY, and small. MY WEAKNESS IS GETTING A NUMBER OF THINGS DONE. I'm also lousy at finishing large projects, but I'll get to that after I learn how to do more than one thing at a time. I think that is the best way to do it, because it covers the things I've never been able to do before, too (the multitask thing, not just the one-project thing).
note: these lists I write make me feel great. It's like a weird version of a high, or a form of relaxation. But I don't want to be writing it because it makes me happy. I want to actually do these things. There is such a huge difference, sometimes I don't comprehend it, and then I don't actually use the list, and forget about it, etc.... So it is VERY important that I report back to say how I've done. I really want to treat this like it's a list of assignments that I want to do. I think I might edit the assignments, and add my comments, just like the ones you see now, and re-copy the assignment part and put up a new post with those things each time I feel like it needs modification or as a report on my progress.
For each day, and each week, and month. Here are my assignments! LOOK AT THEM ONE AT A TIME. find a way to write down tasks daily.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:
.................................................................................................
work on job searching progress as time allows, goal is to find a job ASAP. (... can't open christmas presents... !)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:
.................................................................................................
FEBRUARY
tba. too much to think about.
MARCH
tba. obviously too much to think about.
remember march 17 trip. DON'T BE FAAAT!
I have a hard time... assigning myself things....
So I'm going to write it down, and make the assignments NOT few, but MANY, and small. MY WEAKNESS IS GETTING A NUMBER OF THINGS DONE. I'm also lousy at finishing large projects, but I'll get to that after I learn how to do more than one thing at a time. I think that is the best way to do it, because it covers the things I've never been able to do before, too (the multitask thing, not just the one-project thing).
note: these lists I write make me feel great. It's like a weird version of a high, or a form of relaxation. But I don't want to be writing it because it makes me happy. I want to actually do these things. There is such a huge difference, sometimes I don't comprehend it, and then I don't actually use the list, and forget about it, etc.... So it is VERY important that I report back to say how I've done. I really want to treat this like it's a list of assignments that I want to do. I think I might edit the assignments, and add my comments, just like the ones you see now, and re-copy the assignment part and put up a new post with those things each time I feel like it needs modification or as a report on my progress.
For each day, and each week, and month. Here are my assignments! LOOK AT THEM ONE AT A TIME. find a way to write down tasks daily.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:
.................................................................................................
JANUARY
wk 2...12-14: lose weight by exercising (record on wall)
japanese: finish two chapters (that's 3 and 4.)
clean room entirely.
practice piano, real, 20 min a day.
read the bible, 10 min a day.
wk 3...15-21: lose weight by exercising.
japanese: finish three chapters. (that's 5, 6, 7.)
practice piano 20 min. a day.
read the bible, 10 min. a day.
wk 4...22-28: lose weight by exercising.
japanese: finish four chapters. (that's 8, 9, 10, 11.)
practice piano 30 min. a day.
read the bible, 20 min. a day.
ALL DAYS:
exercise everyday.
do homework and chores everyday ahead of time as much as possible.
work on job searching progress as time allows, goal is to find a job ASAP. (... can't open christmas presents... !)LOOK FORWARD TO 134.
:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:
.................................................................................................
FEBRUARY
tba. too much to think about.
MARCH
tba. obviously too much to think about.
remember march 17 trip. DON'T BE FAAAT!
Saturday, January 8, 2011
A change of family atmosphere!
アニメ Minus Subtitles: Listening
I've been watching random animes on the internet lately that don't have subtitles. Sometimes it helps me listen to the Japanese better, and I also don't have to be looking at the screen, because I won't be able to "listen" either better either way, so I can do something else at the same time. Like, right now, I'm playing a special from Harukanaru Toki no naka de. (There are a lot of "related" shows for that one, it's confusing!!!)
Anyway, I notice a lot of things when I listen instead of watch, or at least watch without subtitles. It's kind of fun!
Boundaries: I'm Extending Too Far?
Also while under the subject of "listening", I'll
My Mother's Feelings
Although I had felt that my actions were justifiable, I suppose that maybe that isn't the point. I need to try to help keep peace around the house, more than I need to get people to do what I want or allow me to do what I want. I don't have to have everything my way, I mean, see?
No matter what my someone, my mother especially, asks me to do, it isn't worth it for me to cause an argument. That doesn't matter, if I truly want to stay in the house and live with everyone, and as a part of the family. I'm not treating them like I'm a part of them, I'm acting like I don't care and they're not connected to me (as family).
I ALSO need to remember that I mustn't expect to be listened to. Sometimes mom doesn't listen to me, just like I don't listen to her. It's normal to want to be heard, and in that process, you end up speaking while NOT listening to the other person. And when the other person doesn't listen to what you're trying to say, you never stop to listen, and then each person will never be satisfied because they haven't been heard, so they won't stop to listen to the other... kind of like war... and so it never stops.
So when I'm blabbering on about how I feel, I have to stop and say to myself, "Don't expect to be listened to. Blabbering WILL make it worse. Listen first, and if the other person seems ready to listen, then speak." Mostly, in my family, I'm going to need to do a lot of listening, and not speaking. It's really okay, I've argued enough that I've caused a lot of discord and really stressed everybody out.
Actually, that's what my mom was trying to explain, so far as I can tell, this is what she meant:
Cara, you are using your "sense of independence" against me illogically. You aren't acting like part of the family (though she didn't put it this way, this is how I understand it), you're acting like a rude house border who thinks she's got rights in areas that she completely doesn't. Your family and the people in charge of it are to be respected more than anyone else you know, and you're treating us like you're not even related to us. It's no wonder that we suggest you don't live here anymore, you don't seem to want to be part of the atmosphere anyway.
I've been hurting my mother's sense of command, too, and treating her rudely (rudely, as in, out of place, as if she doesn't have a right to tell me what to do, and it's belittling to her) and it's really caused serious damage to our relationship. I had been thinking that everything was going to be okay, but really, I need to change how I'm acting, take responsibility for my actions that relate to the way I treat my family, and accept my position as a daughter, who helps out when she's needed but accepts commands from mother and father. (Good for self-control, self-learning, introversion improvement.)
Giving Advice to Teddy
My little brother, who I'm worried about not having good diligence (studying and chores, sometimes) isn't going to change by me telling him what to do. If I do say anything, he doesn't believe me because I'm a bad example (REALLY) and it's also a bad thing because he doesn't feel like he has a lot of control over the things he actually does have control over. So I can't try to take control for him and expect that to be effective. I also can't try and change the way my mom raises him. The only thing I can do is be an example and listen to how he feels when we're around each other. No more giving unwanted advice from me, only action and responsibility for MYSELF will be taken!
Teddy-Arguments: telling me what to do, and then the pointless ones.
My brother likes to tell me what to do (like my parents actually have a right to, but he doesn't). He likes to be in control, and sometimes he makes requests that I haven't considered his territory, but mine. But maybe I'm holding on to my pride too much. What a waste of time! It's causing so much dispute in my family. I can't fix everything wrong that goes on in my family, but I can do MY part. I have to stop arguing with everybody. I don't need to take part in that anymore. We CAN find another way to communicate-- one that feels better.
Sometimes Teddy does this arguing-for-fun thing-- he'll tease, then actually say something accusatory for no reason at all. It goes like this.
Cara: Yum, toast.
Teddy: what are you LOOKING AT???!
That's the point where I could decide not to answer. It takes a lot of self control! Haha :) I'm used to answering his questions. We get in to silly debates (also slapping wars, wrestling matches, and chasing-ea.-other-around-house-yelling-or-sneaking-around-trying-2-scare-ea.-other-games). These silly debates sound like this:
Cara: so I learned today that "damn it" in Japanese is NOT ChikuSA, but ChikuSHO. You were wrong!
Teddy: YOU are absolutely WRONG. You can NEVER be right. Baka.
Cara: Well, I looked it up on Google translator. And I've watched way more anime than you.
Teddy: Well, how do you know that? How do you KNOW you've watched more anime than me?
Cara: Umm... well, you don't literally have enough time to watch as much as me. Because you go to school all day, practice two hours of violin, and you also play hours and hours of Xbox. Where would you have time? I never see you watching.
Teddy: How do you KNOW? You know NOTHING.
Cara: uhhhh---
Let me think, what should I do? As you can see, I have bad arguing tactics, and I don't speak the single strongest statement, but try to win by saying tons of things, which he uses against me. If I do actually make a statement that would help me win, Teddy says something irrational and nonsensical.
But even more, our arguments don't really have a point, and it doesn't matter who wins. They also are very annoying and loud for the other people living in our house. We're totally immature... but besides that, they would stop if I just didn't answer him. I've gotten used to doing that a little but, but sometimes I do argue. So I'm going to work on not answering when I see it is a pointless argument or one that Teddy won't be using real logic.
Real Implements to Make :)
1. For everyone in general, including my own benefit: Listen before you speak. Speak only if people really want to hear what you say. Basically, don't plan on saying anything. Just listen!
2. For Mom: have more respect for the people who are in charge. Make peace and harmony a priority. I'm to be like a submissive person, who lets other people tell me what to do most of the time, and only gives input when asked or when necessary.
3. For Teddy: listen, take action for myself and what I'm responsible for, and don't give unwanted advice.
4. Also: don't answer Teddy's illogical-ness. We can find something else fun to do besides arguing. Getting out of the habit completely is better; don't pretend that it's okay when no one is around to get annoyed. It's annoying to me, too. I don't have to participate. So don't answer at those times.
5. For me: respect myself, for myself. When I want to succeed at something (like losing weight, doing homework, practicing piano, WHATEVER--) I need STOP wondering what others think about me, and look through my OWN eyes and ask myself why I'm doing it and what I think and feel.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Study method!
I need to find a state of mind where learning can be fostered. I haven't been able to do it yet, because when I start most tasks, I feel worried that I won't finish them. (This might seem weird to you, but to me, I seriously can't keep from feeling this way.) So my productivity is about 50-75% less than it could be, because I just can't focus.
I'm going to fix this by studying everyday, probably at a certain time, but especially a certain amount of time -- two hours. The first hour, I'm going to work on the homework I've been most recently assigned. The second hour, I will work on a concept or idea, and try to understand it, or practice it.
First hour: study/homework/assignment
Second hour: practice a main principle from class, a skill, or work on my own that I think will help my performance in the subject area. (I.e. singing intervals so I recognize 2nds, fourths, major and minor sixths, etc., or practicing recognition of key signatures, or sight-reading with my voice.)
So I've got to find two hour of study time every day of the workweek, and Sunday too.
Sounds like a good way to succeed:) That's what I haven't done yet.
I'm going to fix this by studying everyday, probably at a certain time, but especially a certain amount of time -- two hours. The first hour, I'm going to work on the homework I've been most recently assigned. The second hour, I will work on a concept or idea, and try to understand it, or practice it.
First hour: study/homework/assignment
Second hour: practice a main principle from class, a skill, or work on my own that I think will help my performance in the subject area. (I.e. singing intervals so I recognize 2nds, fourths, major and minor sixths, etc., or practicing recognition of key signatures, or sight-reading with my voice.)
So I've got to find two hour of study time every day of the workweek, and Sunday too.
Sounds like a good way to succeed:) That's what I haven't done yet.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
New World
I went to school. I am too busy to write anything else. Sorry. Really. I am pained to leave. I'm having trouble not stopping to write more. But I'll be stuck here for another hour or so if I do that. :)
I can't even leave adequate tags!!! :..[ aaagggghh!!! I want to write.
I can't even leave adequate tags!!! :..[ aaagggghh!!! I want to write.
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