Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Riverpath

Things I like about Merrick:
He was "not happy" about the fact that I dropped his fuzzy animal hat on the floor of the cafeteria girls' bathroom.

We all have choices. It can be irritating to be presented with less, especially after you thought you had gained the privilege to make that choice, and then to have it taken away? That kind of disappointment can make something in your chest twist with irritation. But that feeling is simply that-- a feeling-- and it is inhibiting, a mood downer, and demoralizing. It's not enjoyable or deep. It's confusing and completely undesireable. I think it's better not to HAVE to feel this way at all. It's not like you have more freedom when you display and indulge in your "urgh, I'm not happy with this requirement, I don't want to do this thing, or that thing". Somehow, admitting the frustration, and then standing by it, results in less freedom. Because all you're doing is thinking about how you do or don't want something. You're thinking about yourself, about what you wish you weren't doing--a light form of anger. This emotion I'm typing about isn't made of opinions. It's made of anti-freedom. It's a form of slavery, which you're allowing, because you don't notice while stubbornly standing by a wish for something you can't control. It happens when you respond to a choice that has the potential to take away your freedom, and so, you hand it over in your anger, your demoralization, your tiredness. You think you're standing up for what you want, and reminiscing on what once was. You give up, because the odds are against you, and if you were to hope for what you want, it might fail.

But once you move on, stop reminiscing, and say, "I can't change that. Here's how reality is going to be", you can start to readjust. How easy is it for you to look forward and adjust to something new? Are you water, or are you wood? When something comes up in your path, what other options are there? If you were to go around that barrier, instead of lamenting its presence, what other ways are there for you to go?

自由
Jiyuu.
 
Freedom.
 
Make it yours.