Letter to Marguerite in Greece!

Marguerite Marguerite Margueriiiiiiiite!!!! ha ha, I'm hyper. And I miss you! This is getting boring!!!

I'm going to have to get a job. I would really like to work as a waitress and an office assistant/receptionist, but if those two don't work, I just have to work at a nursing home again. I'm just SCAAARED... and getting references...??!!.... it's something I'm going to have to work on tomorrow. I will let you know what happens! By August, I should have a job or two. :) aaaaaahhh....

It's great how you have "no problem studying". I am getting to that point too... you know, it's weird? I think I didn't do well in school simply because... I didn't see the classes going in a direction I was passionate about. Basically... I didn't care about what I was doing. It's too bad I didn't figure it out sooner!

But being sure about your life-- and being sure about what you love-- it takes guts. You have to be really brave to be able to say, "I like this" and "this is something I wouldn't mind doing for the rest of my life". I mean, I feel so old already, and I am basically starting at the beginning of my college education again. I feel like the decisions I make need to be made very carefully, because I don't have a lot of time left.

That sounds dumb, I know, because I'm only twenty-one. But I really do need to make a lot of progress! I'm so behind. These are my priorities: :)

1) Working (after I find a job) in order to pay for my music degree, which I will finish later on.
2) Studies, every day!!!!
a. Bible (if I go teach in Japan, I have to know answers to questions about my religion)
b. Piano practice (and theory)
c. Japanese
d. read any books that help my reading comprehension! (it sucks.)

I can only spend money on Japanese materials and school. The money I make will be going to an account in Atlantis, so it's going to be far away-- and that's good! :)

Iiii'm exciiiteddd. heh heh.

You said you read the Time Traveler's Wife? I watched the movie. It made me cry. But I bet the book is better. I would have... directed the movie differently... hee hee. Well... I might have picked different people for the acting roles, too.... But it is a very, very good story!

You're right that being indecisive is part of my personality. I don't have to feel so terrible about it. I mean, I shouldn't. Being indecisive, or whatever it is that I am doing, is scary because I am always feeling like I'm doing the wrong thing, and that I'm not "passionate" enough about my career path. But being "passionate" isn't necessarily the right word for what people need in life. You aren't always going to feel passionate about your career! That's not what emotions are made of! Emotions are swirly with dark shadows and warm sunlight. You can't expect your "passion" to remain a constant, positive light, so that when you go in for an interview for the job you want, everything is clear and diamond solid. It would be nice for everything to make sense like that, and it definitely happens, but it's foolish to expect perfection and be angry about mistakes we make. Mistakes need to push you in a positive direction, not drag you down. Don't expect passion be tied around your waist, as thick as a tug-of-war rope, pulling you. Let passion take you slowly, like a stream's current pulling a leaf towards a river. That stream won't always be running along a creek-- it's going to end up at a waterfall!

I guess I'm saying... things like studying, I have to think of this way-- a thing where you practice a little every day (EVERY day)-- and you let yourself enjoy it! If you take it more slowly, the threads that tie you to that passion will become much stronger than if you tried to attach yourself to that passion, all at once. And of course, when it's fun, you succeed much better, without worries. That's how I'm trying to think of things that I want to succeed in.

Caleb sounds like a very nice friend. You don't have to tell him he's my future husband, but you can hint at it, if you like. He's going to have to accept it, sooner or later!

And I would LOVE to see you this summer! Summer is the best, most beautiful time.... *sigh* Maybe I can come visit you during the school year, too! Since I'm not in school, it won't as perilous to get away.

I wish I could come visit you in Greece. What beautiful memories you're making! I like old towns. They have maturity, you know? And Greece-- it's seen centuries! When we see each other this summer, I will tell you about Yosemite. We went there in June... we saw waterfalls and huge sequoias.... We have pictures!

Do your best in Greek! I'm happy you're pleased with your success so far. In Japanese... ummmm... Let me look it up.

Ganbatte, ne? Do your best, okay? (Without the ne, you just have "do your best"). It's also good in place of where we would say, "Good luck" or "You're going to do great".

It looks like this. 頑張って ね. Probably. And you say it like... "gahn-bah-TAE, nay?" well, it's across between saying "neh" and "nay". Which also stands for "hey". Ney. Hey. ha ha ha-- sorry....

I don't really know all those Japanese symbols yet. (Your computer might not have the capability to read those symbols anyway.) I haven't actually learned the Japanese alphabet yet, so I'm not really that far along. However, I do watch a lot of anime, so I'm doing well at recognizing certain words, how to pronounce their accent, and the pitches of the words. It's so much fun!!!!

So like I was trying to say until I got off track, 頑張って! I love you Marguerite!

XOXO.
♣Cara♣