What Would Happen?!

During my sophomore year at Atlantis State college, 2008-2009.

What would happen if... every time I thought of something I could do that was really scary or maybe even unlike me, and I was afraid enough that I wouldn't ever do it-- and then I did it anyway...? I could do anything I wanted. Anything! At first it's kind of like, duh. But it's really an amazing idea, when you think about it.

For example... right now, I want to do these things, but I'm afraid to...

• tell someone what I'm really thinking [note from me in July 2010: I wanted to tell a guy I met in freshman year, Michael, that I liked him.]
• Go outside and go running even though I don't want people to see me exercise ["exercise" means get sweaty]
• Be more naturally myself
• Have stood up and given my presentation

If I could just do these things, I would just feel so much better. But I can barely imagine it. It's my goal to get to where I CAN do things just because I want to!

So, to sum it up: What if every time I wanted to do something-- anything-- but stopped myself for some kind of fear-- what if instead, I did it ANYWAY? What then?

[this resonates with my past post about acting. UGH. no, no no. I have good reasons. I have good reasons. aaargh.]