Okay. Here's what I need to do:
1. Try to fix any bad grades that will go along with or aid the educational track (major) that I choose. Do well! I can! Don't be afraid anymore! If you're scared of something, do THAT! [Don't give up! I CAN!]
2. Learn Asian languages, but focus on one at a time so as to learn them to fluently. Learn whatever is most helpful for where I want to go. I can start with Japanese. Either find an educational program that allows me to learn a language well without having to take a lot of unnecessary classes, or simply learn them on my own, with classes, or for no credit, or independently.
3. Find a way to connect to people who speak the language I'm learning, at least when I'm at a point where I am coherent. I could make friends online, or get a pen-pal, or meet people! (? yeah right. That's likely. (: No, really, I'm being sarcastic.)
4. Get a bachelor's in music, (!Does it need to be with a teaching license? No, only if I want to teach band and stuff.... I think. Hmmmm. It would be really good to be more versatile. If it's not a lot of extra trouble, I could consider that, but it might take away from my prowess in piano. It might not be worth it when it comes down to it.) and practice a lot so that I am successful as I can be. Do well so I can consider going to music graduate school. Maybe plan on going to Walla Walla(??) my last years before Japan in order to fix my grades and face up to what I previously failed in. Otherwise, I can stay here and go somewhere like Willamette or elsewhere with a good program.
5. Teach in Japan. Especially consider applying for the JET programme as an assistant language teacher, or one of the other two positions, before I begin teaching music, so as to get used to speaking the language! In order to be experienced, I could consider going as an SM through an Adventist school first. (Do they send student missionaries to Japan?!)
And that... will make me a music teacher. Or at least a teacher. AAAHHH!!! I never wanted to be a teacher. Yet... I think it's perfect for me... arrgh. But Japanese makes it all so much more interesting this way, so much better! And as a teacher, I'll have a better schedule than a doctor does. I can learn more languages, and teach elsewhere as well!!!
I should... sell Cutco. It totally freaks me out (being a representative, I did it last summer, and it's hard) and it would be scary and worth it if I succeeded.
2. I should get jobs and make money and learn Japanese.
3. I should practice a lot of piano. I should learn theory.
4. I should lose weight.
5. I should love my family.
6. I should call my friends and take them shopping or do something fun for once.
7. I shouldn't be afraid.
8. I should do what I feel.
9. I should run in the morning.
10. I should stop at nighttime to sleep.
11. I should stop trying to be different, and instead accept ME so I can be happy.
12. If I am happy, I can better help others. I can't help others if I am not happy.
13.I should pray to God about these decisions.
14. I should pray to him and learn his language (read the Bible) so that I can communicate with him and understand his character-- therefore myself-- and so that when I do go to Japan, I can use my knowledge to show God, at least through example.
Sigh. Goodnight.
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