Progress - > -

Written in my planner during a weekly school-church meeting after a counseling appointment in which I made the final list of goals I'll ever make from being this deep underwater:

"Once I get over this part, which I feel I will (!!) I want to (I hate the way they're playing this song!) remember to change the way I think of humanity. I've imagined myself as leader, as a great intellect, or artist. But with this view I allow myself to believe I'm rising above individual humans in worth. I know it's wrong, but even with my great sensitivity and shyness, this pride stays as strong as a heavy-duty tug-of-war rope. I detest this part of myself, and yet I want it.

"Today I thought carefully about why I shouldn't feel like this. The answer was so obvious-- one of my core beliefs-- once I recalled it: God loves the humans he created! It's not simply that God made our worth so great, but that the sent his son to DIE for us."