Letter to my mom

Hi Mommy.

I am typing in the library, and I have a lot of homework so I'm starting as early as possible. It's funny--when I type while I'm taking Adderall, I don't really EVER make mistakes in my typing! I mean, I do, but there are a lot less, like I'm more careful of what I type. It's kind of cool. I don't feel any different, except that I know and am able to think about what I need to do next, in a more orderly fashion than I used to think.

It's exciting because I think I am going to get better grades now! Instead of putting my passion to do better in school toward attempts at getting my homework done, I see the path ahead of me more clearly, so I can actually complete tasks much more quickly. It helps me realize that the little things I would try to do at the same time as more important things are not so important, and I remember what I NEED to be thinking about.

Having this mindset helps me realize how to think more focused when I'm NOT on the medication, as well. (Unless it's actually working more than six hours.) But I understand better, more than just feel better. That means someday, maybe, I won't need to take Adderall anymore, and that's what I'd like best.

But who know, I'm guessing about all this. I haven't been taking Adderall very long anyway, so I'll need to talk with my counselor about it before I decide stuff. She knows more about it than I do. :)

How are you? I miss you a lot! I love the idea of you coming to visit me!!! I never realized how much fun it is for you-- it's like your own little private holiday, which I bet you like a lot! I know how you feel; often I enjoy the cruise back to the mainland by myself better than with someone else--you and me are introverts in that way at least. We don't mind alone time! It is GROUNDING... it makes you feel more together, yourself, more complete, more organized inside your head.

SOOOO... YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY COME VISIT ME!! I LOVE YOU!!!! heee heee.

I think I told you this already, but Ishva and I are doing a weight loss contest. Whoever loses the most is the winner! The loser (ironically and probably counter-productively) buys dinner. The contest ends at the end of the quarter, Saturday night the night before finals. I have lost one pound! Possibly two, but I can't count that one because I don't know if I was exactly 185 or 184.8 or something, so I'm using "184.0" for my starting weight... and now I weight 183 today. It will fluctuate, but it's still progress! I am trying to exercise every day, unless it's too late and I need to go to bed.

But taking this medicine really also helps me figure out my goals better. I know what I need to do, and then I have the ability to focus and do it! It's so much fun.

Hey, you should print this letter out and give it to Daddy. He might be happy to be updated on my school progress in better detail. Ha ha... and he's kind of wrong about the medicine not working. Of course, I think it's important to know that the medicine is there not for me to take for the rest of my life, but to help me learn how to think and focus in the SAME way I do when I AM taking it. It helps by giving me a mental image of what it is actually like to focus. So cool!

As you might be able to tell, my thoughts are more organized in their paragraphs. This is another sign of how it helps.

Okay, enough about that. I love you Mom! Kisses and hugs! I'm waiting for my recital in anticipation... and if you want to come visit me earlier as well, next weekend. You could get here on Friday, May seven, and stay until Sunday... You and I could both go visit Miss Tulie for Friday night tacos with Autumn and Marguerite, maybe! We would even get done in time for evening church. And you will meet Ishva, who is AWESOME. I will call you about it!

Love, Princess Cara (Daughter of King Matthew and Queen Rida, Sister of Prince George)

[Please note to my friends on blogger :) the above is supposed to be a joke. My mom knows I liked to pretend I was a princess when I was little... I still do. It's not weird, though! Pretending--or using your imagination--doesn't have to become a fantasy, but can be mentally visual poetry or art, expressing creativity and enjoyment of the the good parts of life, like the the blue sky, sparkling water, dark summer storms, or whatever you like best about living. I think that imagination can "take" you to sin-free places like Heaven.]