Career Turmoil! Lovely Parents Give Advice that Conflicts! Shall I Choose My Own?

Talking with my dad about career options is a really difficult task. I mean, when it comes to gaining confidence and everything. for some reason, the foremost thing in his (and my mom's, too) mind is money. Money, money, money. And it makes sense, sure, because they want me to be able to support myself. I get that. But they're taking it too far. They seem to think that MOST JOBS won't make enough money unless it's something relating to health care.

Or maybe... maybe that's not it. It might be that right now, as I'm trying to choose my career, they need me to have confidence in my decision, and since I don't, it makes them nervous and they're doing their "part" in worrying for me-- OVERTIME.

It's sweet, but it's not helping. I need good, solid advice that tells the truth without all this. They're forgetting that the world has many careers to offer and just because they don't know about all those opportunities doesn't mean I won't be able to attain one of those career options that they don't have as much experience about. It must scare them to imagine me going out into the world and getting a job that they can't help me with-- something like interpreting or teaching music is more foreign to them and they can't imagine me doing well only because they don't know about it.

Does that make sense? I think that's what the problem is.

For me, it's very difficult to argue with them on this point (should I or shouldn't I choose this or that career....) because their point about the importance of job security and financial security is quite valid. What if they're right?  I don't even know, myself, if I can be successful with any line of work that isn't a straight path to a job, like health care. Most other careers are less secure because you get educated for them, but then the job options are variable and miscellaneous and not necessarily what you had in mind.

For instance, a career in linguistics would be where you learn about the forms of language, grammar, and patterns. You can be a teacher or a researcher in various institutions for schools and companies that do research. But when you get an education like that, you can't really be sure where or what your job will be like-- whether you'll start as an assistant, or you'll be typing up papers, or doing research in "the field"-- the type of jobs available are various. The same thing goes for other jobs. There are more options. And since both my parents went into health care, having more options is weird and scary and unknown for me.

Health care, on the other hand, is  stress-free in the respect that it leads directly to a job. You get a degree to be a doctor? You go apply to hospitals and be a doctor. You train to be a physical therapist? Go work in a nursing home, hospital, PT clinic, or other institution that hires physical therapists. Nursing, radiology, dentistry, optometry, pharmacy-- it's all basically the same-- health care education LEADS DIRECTLY to a job (that pays enough money to be moderately comfortable).

And I think that's what scares me, and what causes my parents to act this way. Health care careers are what they understand, and they don't know what it will be like for me if I choose something else, so they're worried. My dad seems to think that he has to start considering when to make me move out of the house-- which is understandable-- but he says this based on the idea that it is going to take me six to eight years to start making money.

I don't understand his reasoning!! I will eventually be able to move out and start working, at least as an accompanist, and pay for my own rent and all that. It will be hard, but I think I can do it. Daddy doesn't need to doubt me so much. It is soooo frustrating.

But I decided to write a post because I had (well, I was asking God what to do, and he told me this) a thought-- "Your parents' belief in you isn't what is going to help you do well in the world." I don't have to get their approval!! It's kind of disappointing to say out loud, since I really like that idea of "believing" in other people, as a philosophy. But in the end, you can't expect the people around you, as supportive and loving as they are, to ever COMPLETELY understand you. And in my case, at least, I can't expect my family to support me with their beliefs in me.

Of course, I haven't been very successful in life, by outside appearances and normal standards (making money, being able to move out) and it's no wonder they don't trust me. But regardless of that, it's still very difficult for me to make this sort of decision when their advice is so cleanly slicing at my confidence. I mean, I nearly, NEARLY agreed with them a few times there. My mom and dad's advice about careers is good, for the most part, but when it comes to actually PICKING a career, I have to pick it for MY OWN reason.

I am learning, slowly, that I have to make this decision, myself. I'm on my own. The more I realize that, the more I can make it true.

I think that because my parents are having such trouble trusting me, and because I let that affect how I feel, it might be GOOD for me to move out when it's actually possible. That might mean that after I save up enough money to start those music classes, I should move to the area where we have a state college here, and start living at the college while I take the classes. If I do that, I can start my music-associated career (playing piano for events and possibly teaching privately) in order to pay my own bills.

So next thing on the list is...: make a lot of money this year so I have some to pay for college classes while I'm working... to pay for rent. Also, work on my studies so that I can audition for music scholarships and apply for regular scholarships.

SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN!!! :) :) :)