Boring Update

This is just a boring blog entry, because nothing new has happened and I am not doing anything different or interesting.

I guess I'm a little down, because I am working toward fixing my life but it happens so slooowwwly.... :)

I woke up around five this morning for work. After some confusion between me and the nurse-person on the phone, I went to work. It was hard though, because I had to jump my car. I'd left the lights on.... :) (My mom and I were yelling at each other and trying to get the car to move backwards so the cables could reach and I was upset because I was so late, so my tears were leaking out of my eyes and then we were yelling more... it was a mess!)

Pervert guy: There is a guy at work who is rude and makes weird, vulgar, sexual remarks or likes to talk about IT all the time. Not all the time. But he's just one of those guys with IT on his mind. I have a hard time with it because when it comes up, I forget to tell him to shut up. I'm not good with that, because I'm neither aggressive nor defensive. I just pretend he doesn't say anything, or say something contradictory, but I don't actually look at his face and say, "quit talking about that." I doubt he treats the other females in the workplace like this, or they wouldn't speak to him and would call him a creep behind his back. But they don't. So I need to tell him to stop it so he doesn't think my silence is an admission-- I just forget in the moment.

It's so annoying. Initially after the fact, I want to yell at him, "What is your problem? Shut the hell up! Do you think I'm the sort of person who wants to talk about stuff like this?" And then I say to myself... no, I can't say mean things back to him, or I'm being rude just like I don't want him to be to me. So I have to tell him politely. He is the kind of guy who will listen, I just haven't done a good job in speaking up so far.

For sheltered, innocent little 'ol me, it's educational... I guess... I have never met anyone in real life who's such a pervert (except in this, like, passive, secretive way!) until this guy. Oh well, he says he's trying to change... but that's going to require quite an overhaul! *Sigh*

Job search: Tomorrow I am hoping I can have the courage to go and look for a better job. I need one that is full time, and I could work at the hospital, doing something... anything.... Apparently there are some openings right this minute, so it's very important that I go ASAP and not later. I really want to do it.

Haha... I just don't trust myself.... But I realized today, I've lost so much confidence, when really, it's not necessary for me to feel bad about myself at all.... I really CAN do this.

I want to learn Japanese and go and live there for a bit. Why not? I can go through a mission program with my SDA school/university first, so it won't be such a scary experience-- I'll have people around me who understand my way of living, while I still get to experience using the language. Then I can try out for the JET program, or perhaps working as a music teacher. So right now I need to finish that degree. :) Oh, and get that job on the side. Yay!