I had a thought about making a schedule, syllabus, or something like that... for a set of weeks... about all those goals I'm always talking about. (I tried it a while ago for specifically weight loss, but I lost motivation.) I've also decided I need to learn Spanish before I get too much into the Japanese. I could get my Spanish down much faster, especially since (haha) I know its alphabet, at least!
I'll develop a week by week schedule of things I'll do, every day, like a teacher might assign for a class. The only thing different about this is that they're not "assignments" as they are more like "study periods" in which I need to learn a certain amount of information, or read something. I think I've picked too many things~~
Bible (reading chapters)
Spanish (grammar and vocabulary)
Piano (practice - exercises and pieces)
Theory (Music, beginner)
Japanese (characters)
Weight loss (diet+exercise)
Haha. Yeah. A bit much, right? So I either have to cut some out, learn how to focus really really well and continue with this plan, or divide them up and work on them, just even and odd days.
Basically, I'd be studying each subject for half an hour a day or so. It's like school, but I'm re-teaching myself how to study, independently, which could help me be much more efficient than I normally am. I know that doing lots of subjects in one day might help me focus better, simply because it's less boring, and less boring means it takes more energy--I'll be jumping into new tasks (and subjects) more often.
It's a good idea. The important-est thing, though, is that I don't let myself slack off after I've tried this. I have to keep trying, each day-- it's my consistency that is the problem more than my motivation. I have strong motivation... but I lose it fast. I have to keep up the strong motivation, and I'll be unstoppable!! Hee hee.
Once I make a schedule, I'll put it in a post so I feel like it's a bigger deal, and I'll take it seriously.
This is exciting.
Here I go....
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
A Boring Tuesday!
I woke up at noon yesterday, but I got up in time for work. When I called to make sure they needed me, there was confusion and the lady on the phone told me I was "called off". (If there aren't a certain number of residents in-house, they call off an assistant, and I'm last on the list, so I that would mean I don't work.)
But oopsie! I was actually supposed to go. So I was an entire hour late! Haha. :)
Working is fun. I meet a lot of elderly people, and even though caring for them might be messy, it's also amazingly fun to get to know their funny personalities, talk about life, joke around with them, and care for them when they need help. They're actually quite adorable.
It is also a good way for me to learn to be a less prideful person. Everybody is always saying, "Cara, you're so nice" and I'm thinking inside, "Yeah, that's what you think!!" So ultimately, I'm actually a lot more stuck up than they know. Doing a hard job like this might not be able to cure me of my hidden snobby thoughts, but at least I deserve being praised if and when I am praised, because I really did hard work. I'll just have to learn not to be so sensitive when people tell me I've done a good job.
I don't want to be impressed with myself because other people are impressed with me-- instead, I've got to be confident in myself because I really have done a good job.
A sweet guy named Freddy can't talk, so we use this hardback clipboard with papers stuck to it, that have words and letters that he can point to, when he wants to tell us something. The things he says might be "pain pill", "RN", "wash face" or "drink". It is very hard to understand him, but it's so much fun when I figure out what he wants. Today, he was spelling things for me by pointing at the letters. First, he said, "W-H-A-T-E I-S I-T?"
And I was like... "Uhhhh.... I'm sorry.... I don't.... Mmm...."
It was the "E" that was confusing me. But as it turns out, he was sticking an "E" in there for no reason. It MIGHT have actually meant something... but eventually, I figured out that he was trying to say, "What is it?"
By the time Freddy had showed me those letters five times through, he was pointing especially vigorously, more like... "What IS it?!!"
It was fruity orange-lemon-pudding stuff! Poor Freddy. But he's persistent, so finally, he was able to get me to understand... and he got to eat his food! He ate it all up, too.
Later that yesterday, he spelled out some very confusing words that I never completely understood, but included a sentence that ran along the lines of... "I am... the... with you... joy" and "happy with you".
Apparently, Freddy was happy that I was able to communicate with him! I was doing a good job! (My job is to make people happy while helping them through daily-life-activities, basically.) He enjoyed the fact that he could communicate by pointing and motioning, and I could understand. Imagine not being able to speak or write-- it would be CRAZY annoying. It's no wonder Freddy enjoys it when people finally can talk to him and--moreover-- understand. To be misunderstood or ignored is like being alone... because human relationships, without some kind of communication, (physical, verbal, nonverbal, eye contact, facial expressions, language, music) are not relationships at all!
That was a nice little thing at work. :)
Boring Tuesdays are great. (I don't mean boring negatively. Boring to me equals normal.)
But oopsie! I was actually supposed to go. So I was an entire hour late! Haha. :)
Working is fun. I meet a lot of elderly people, and even though caring for them might be messy, it's also amazingly fun to get to know their funny personalities, talk about life, joke around with them, and care for them when they need help. They're actually quite adorable.
It is also a good way for me to learn to be a less prideful person. Everybody is always saying, "Cara, you're so nice" and I'm thinking inside, "Yeah, that's what you think!!" So ultimately, I'm actually a lot more stuck up than they know. Doing a hard job like this might not be able to cure me of my hidden snobby thoughts, but at least I deserve being praised if and when I am praised, because I really did hard work. I'll just have to learn not to be so sensitive when people tell me I've done a good job.
I don't want to be impressed with myself because other people are impressed with me-- instead, I've got to be confident in myself because I really have done a good job.
A sweet guy named Freddy can't talk, so we use this hardback clipboard with papers stuck to it, that have words and letters that he can point to, when he wants to tell us something. The things he says might be "pain pill", "RN", "wash face" or "drink". It is very hard to understand him, but it's so much fun when I figure out what he wants. Today, he was spelling things for me by pointing at the letters. First, he said, "W-H-A-T-E I-S I-T?"
And I was like... "Uhhhh.... I'm sorry.... I don't.... Mmm...."
It was the "E" that was confusing me. But as it turns out, he was sticking an "E" in there for no reason. It MIGHT have actually meant something... but eventually, I figured out that he was trying to say, "What is it?"
By the time Freddy had showed me those letters five times through, he was pointing especially vigorously, more like... "What IS it?!!"
It was fruity orange-lemon-pudding stuff! Poor Freddy. But he's persistent, so finally, he was able to get me to understand... and he got to eat his food! He ate it all up, too.
Later that yesterday, he spelled out some very confusing words that I never completely understood, but included a sentence that ran along the lines of... "I am... the... with you... joy" and "happy with you".
Apparently, Freddy was happy that I was able to communicate with him! I was doing a good job! (My job is to make people happy while helping them through daily-life-activities, basically.) He enjoyed the fact that he could communicate by pointing and motioning, and I could understand. Imagine not being able to speak or write-- it would be CRAZY annoying. It's no wonder Freddy enjoys it when people finally can talk to him and--moreover-- understand. To be misunderstood or ignored is like being alone... because human relationships, without some kind of communication, (physical, verbal, nonverbal, eye contact, facial expressions, language, music) are not relationships at all!
That was a nice little thing at work. :)
Boring Tuesdays are great. (I don't mean boring negatively. Boring to me equals normal.)
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Doubts are LIES!
I was watching Death Note, and something obvious occurred to me. Something obvious that I never noticed.
(Don't tell me anything. I'm only halfway through.) My idea popped up when he said something like, "You know, if you use your head, you can eat as many sweets as you like without gaining any weight." How reckless! For someone like me, that's like smacking science in the face.
People, like L, who are confident that if they want to do something, they can just do it. That... is a powerful belief.
It's not hard to attain this belief-- because it's so easy to lose it. I've lost it before, and I'll lose it again, but right now, I know what it is... --
Believing in yourself is just an absence of doubt. It's not necessarily important to phrase it like "believe in yourself" but more to stop doubting yourself.
Trying to make a decision is difficult enough when you don't believe you can do it half the time, because you are allowing yourself to doubt things unnecessarily.
It's important not to confuse this idea by believing in things that aren't logical, such as bungee-jumping to heal a broken hip, or trying to put yourself into a pre-defined physical stereotype when your physical self simply doesn't fit.... What I really mean when I say "things that aren't logical" is that you must determine what is a lie and what isn't.
Doubts are lies.
So when I don't know what career to pick, I'm letting myself get ten times more confused by thinking "I would likely NOT succeed in that career" about every single one-- if I think I can't succeed by going down those paths, it's no wonder I feel like my available choices suck!
I know, you're thinking, "You didn't realize this before? It's so DUH."
Well, it helps me a lot. Honestly... a lot of people doubt themselves and hold themselves back. Just imagine what you could do... if you had the ability to raise your eyebrows to a challenge, smile inside and out, then move forward with purpose. What could you accomplish, if you picked your challenges not based on your ability, but on your desire to reach something?
And with all barriers gone, what do I really want?
My fear... is a dark illusion. I can BRUSH IT AWAY LIKE SMOKE.
(Don't tell me anything. I'm only halfway through.) My idea popped up when he said something like, "You know, if you use your head, you can eat as many sweets as you like without gaining any weight." How reckless! For someone like me, that's like smacking science in the face.
People, like L, who are confident that if they want to do something, they can just do it. That... is a powerful belief.
It's not hard to attain this belief-- because it's so easy to lose it. I've lost it before, and I'll lose it again, but right now, I know what it is... --
Believing in yourself is just an absence of doubt. It's not necessarily important to phrase it like "believe in yourself" but more to stop doubting yourself.
Trying to make a decision is difficult enough when you don't believe you can do it half the time, because you are allowing yourself to doubt things unnecessarily.
It's important not to confuse this idea by believing in things that aren't logical, such as bungee-jumping to heal a broken hip, or trying to put yourself into a pre-defined physical stereotype when your physical self simply doesn't fit.... What I really mean when I say "things that aren't logical" is that you must determine what is a lie and what isn't.
Doubts are lies.
So when I don't know what career to pick, I'm letting myself get ten times more confused by thinking "I would likely NOT succeed in that career" about every single one-- if I think I can't succeed by going down those paths, it's no wonder I feel like my available choices suck!
I know, you're thinking, "You didn't realize this before? It's so DUH."
Well, it helps me a lot. Honestly... a lot of people doubt themselves and hold themselves back. Just imagine what you could do... if you had the ability to raise your eyebrows to a challenge, smile inside and out, then move forward with purpose. What could you accomplish, if you picked your challenges not based on your ability, but on your desire to reach something?
And with all barriers gone, what do I really want?
My fear... is a dark illusion. I can BRUSH IT AWAY LIKE SMOKE.
Doubting again: Confused!
AAAA!!! I went to work today for the first time by myself, no orientating-- it was ALL ME. And I did fine! So far. I think this will work out!
I was thinking about how I wanted to choose music as my major... and I'm afraid it's a dumb idea... again... (self-doubts... digging hole for self... I'm melting....)
Really, though... I mean, logically-- maybe I should choose a more stable career to start with. I have to look into the options. I HATE LOOKING INTO OPTIONS. It's so much decision making. UGGGGH.
I dunno if I want to be involved in health stuff anymore. I could be a nurse, though, or a... podiatrist... ooh, I know, one of those doctors who does autopsies. No, I changed my mind. I barely get by as a nursing assistant caring for old people, it definitely wouldn't be better to take care of people who are dead.
SIGH. Okay. I will just have to analyze this for a while. Here, so you know what I'm *actually* considering...
CRAZY IDEA WOULD LOVE IT SAFER JOB SECURITY
music teacher in Japan Language Interpreter physical therapist
and in the US later (Japanese especially) pharmacist
nurse
doctor of some sort (cancer, feet, kids,
surgeon, ER)
speech pathologist (helps people
speak, form words)
I had a thought when I was watching a dumb GAP commercial. "That's the thing about style-- if everybody liked your style, you couldn't call it that."
I was thinking about how I wanted to choose music as my major... and I'm afraid it's a dumb idea... again... (self-doubts... digging hole for self... I'm melting....)
Really, though... I mean, logically-- maybe I should choose a more stable career to start with. I have to look into the options. I HATE LOOKING INTO OPTIONS. It's so much decision making. UGGGGH.
I dunno if I want to be involved in health stuff anymore. I could be a nurse, though, or a... podiatrist... ooh, I know, one of those doctors who does autopsies. No, I changed my mind. I barely get by as a nursing assistant caring for old people, it definitely wouldn't be better to take care of people who are dead.
SIGH. Okay. I will just have to analyze this for a while. Here, so you know what I'm *actually* considering...
CRAZY IDEA WOULD LOVE IT SAFER JOB SECURITY
music teacher in Japan Language Interpreter physical therapist
and in the US later (Japanese especially) pharmacist
nurse
doctor of some sort (cancer, feet, kids,
surgeon, ER)
speech pathologist (helps people
speak, form words)
I had a thought when I was watching a dumb GAP commercial. "That's the thing about style-- if everybody liked your style, you couldn't call it that."
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Sudden Idea!!
I just realized something really important. (Imagine a giant flashing lightbulb here.)
See, I have bad habits sometimes, and I just figured out one of them that's affecting me NEGATIVELY, in a way I didn't realize!
I eat before I go to bed, a lot. Not only is that bad for my teeth and my weight loss attempts, but it makes me less hungry in the morning. It's no wonder it's harder for me to get up in the morning! Not that other people are starving in the morning when they wake up and that's the only reason they get out of bed-- but this, at least, would really help me to wake up a LOT better!
More than anything, I wake up for food. Like... ALWAYS. If NOTHING else gets me up, my desire to eat something breakfast-like or any-meal-like will get me up. Sometimes, I even wake up in the middle of my sleeping time, eat while half-awake, then go back to sleep.
I'm going to stop eating late at night, like, really seriously. It's a bad habit for a lot of other reasons, too, so this is pretty great. Probably about two hours before bed, I'll not eat, unless I'm über hungry. Yay weightloss and waking up before seven AM!
See, I have bad habits sometimes, and I just figured out one of them that's affecting me NEGATIVELY, in a way I didn't realize!
I eat before I go to bed, a lot. Not only is that bad for my teeth and my weight loss attempts, but it makes me less hungry in the morning. It's no wonder it's harder for me to get up in the morning! Not that other people are starving in the morning when they wake up and that's the only reason they get out of bed-- but this, at least, would really help me to wake up a LOT better!
More than anything, I wake up for food. Like... ALWAYS. If NOTHING else gets me up, my desire to eat something breakfast-like or any-meal-like will get me up. Sometimes, I even wake up in the middle of my sleeping time, eat while half-awake, then go back to sleep.
I'm going to stop eating late at night, like, really seriously. It's a bad habit for a lot of other reasons, too, so this is pretty great. Probably about two hours before bed, I'll not eat, unless I'm über hungry. Yay weightloss and waking up before seven AM!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)