Shame isn't the problem?

I've got an idea about swimming. WAIT-- what am I talking about?!

I'm free-writing cara-style, so no editing allowed, and whatever I'm thinking.)

I had an idea about... get addicted to stuff. See, I get really addicted to anime, as in, I can watch, and watch, and watch, when I need to quit and do something else for a bit. Like... SLEEP, or HOMEWORK, or CHORES... you get what I mean, right? That kind of stuff.

But I think that "addiction" in this way isn't necessarily something I do because I "need" it, like I don't "need" to get away from my problems. Not at ALL times, anyway. YES, anime does help me get away from my problems and if I didn't use it for that, I might not have my problems.

But I'm CRAZY about anime. And it's helping me learn a language and that I can go to another country and that will change my life. It's not a bad thing. For me to associate anime solely with a negative thing like addiction is really wrong of me to do. It's blowing it out of proportion.

I DO have an addiction to anime, but that's only half of what anime "does" to me, the other half is good, like I just explained with learning Japanese, and that I like it.

So I need to recognize how I am addicted to anime, and take control of that, since it's not the same as a physical addiction, and I can get better in only half an hour after one episode, it's not something I should view as negative.

Is it possible that because of drugs and porn sites and alcohol and sex, people view things like this more negatively than it needs to be? Let's be realistic: what really is my problem: myself, or the internet that allows me to watch anime and TV?

What weakness should I be worried about?

I guess what I'm saying is... SHAME should not be my number one feeling here. It might be getting in the way of what is truly, realistically the solution to my problem.

'Cause like I say, when I diet, I can't just deny myself goodies and snacks. When I do that, (personally) I end up FOCUSING on those goodies and snacks I'm trying to avoid, and I lose control. I don't think it will help me to try and build a wall between myself an anime. Yes, I partly just don't want quit watching it a lot.

But I think I should focus instead on what I WANT to do - that's learn Japanese, music, exercise, and find a job. I really need to prioritize certain things in that list, but ... hahahha anyway.

One step at a time. And I quote myself for summary =^..^= 
"So I need to recognize how I am addicted to anime, and take control of that, since it's not the same as a physical addiction, and I can get better in only half an hour after one episode, it's not something I should view as negative. SHAME should not be my number one feeling here. It might be getting in the way of what is truly, realistically the solution to my problem."