Horrible Self-criticism. I think this whole time... that perhaps I've been doing something terrible to myself, all on my own. Perhaps-- I'm intimidating myself by belittling my intuition, my inspirations, the makeup of my soul that drives me to do what I do, and I sit back and say "that's boring! that's stupid! how embarrassing my actions are. what is that I'm doing? singing? yoga? dancing?! no one cares about what I write-- what is that, simple observation? making up music? dancing! wasting time on the internet looking at art! watching gay anime!  I look so foolish, so lazy, so frivolous! It's a total waste of time, I'm really quite a loser... I'M a waste of time! I'd better go get something better done, one day at a time, I'll try and be less pathetic, inching my way along....."


It's hard to believe I think stuff like this, but as I write it, I realize I really do feel this way deep inside. It sounds silly when I say it out loud, well, more terrible than silly-- how could I say these things to myself!?

Talk about negativity, LOL.

When I think this way, I can't succeed in being myself-- and being amazing at it. I'm going to have to be more outspoken in this journal, so that I realize I'm thinking these things, and I can put a stop to it.


My life is worth something. My soul is beautiful, like a snowflake. I am filled with inspirations and creativity and intelligence for details, an eye for true reality, and a love for humanity. And more things I don't realize.

No matter what, I always must remember that God created me for something, and I am DESIGNED to be the way I am, even if I have a few inhibiting flaws, I can grow to be an amazing person. Really amazing.

So enough, Cara, with the crap talk. Start enjoying yourself, not just life-- and trust that you know what you're doing more often-- trust your instinct, your snowflake soul.