Hello hello!

Oops. That wasn't the button I wanted to press. I meant to look at all my followers and feel happy about people following me! Do I really have TEN? How NICE! X)

It is time for an update like no other. I am very proud of myself today. I mean, I suppose I could get more proud in the future, but today I am doing very well in comparison to how I have been in the past. I will explain this next! Actually, let me make a list of the stuff I need to think about getting done (in and after) this current hour, before I monologue (?) further....


Do I want to join the “Fitness Club”? Consider this in relation to…

                On-campus runs—learn about the surrounding area —businesses and whatnot

                Access to locker at some undefined hours

                How big will my locker be? Can I FIT my 1)lunch 2)clothes 3)hairdryer?! 

                4)flip-flops 5)backpack with books 6)water bottle 7)and other accessories?

                Can I work out the times I return-- before classes, after classes, and once for lunch?

                Could I go to the P-Campus on Sundays or something? come on-- Free membership.

                I could... 

wake at 4:30/5, 

leave at 6, 

arrive at 7:30, store stuff and work out, 

then shower and get dressed by 8:40, 

then head to class, 

then come back to pick up my lunch, 

then come back to work out again at 3:00,

and then study at the library from 4-6,

and then go home.

what else is important is that I set aside study, on all the other four days, around 2 hours daily, or 3.

On regular days I also wake up early and exercise for an hour, too. Pick two days to exercise for two hours, a longer run, and longer stretch and strength.

Blog reveling.
Hotel search.
Print quarter calendar.
Starland's Availability (classes)
Do some work at Starland's-- sign up for a shift!
Music
- music theory practice everything!
- especially, get to harmonic analysis
- switch back and forth with Japanese every ten minutes (set timer--try it at fifteen, too)
- print music staves and assignments for
     * triads for scales
     * key signatures and scales
     * order of flats and sharps on treble and bass clefs
Japanese
- think of a way to make flashcards
- do some reviewing on the internet for kanji

Oooookay. So I'm proud of myself because I'm in school. I'm in school! I'm going to a community college based out of metropolitan Kalotei--it's very exciting. In fact, although I've been to a community college before, it wasn't to start a serious degree (like this time) and it wasn't in a big city like this. Here, people flock to take classes and absorb information to make their lives better. These people are coming out of hard spots in life and are desperate, and tired, adventurous, and ingenious. Well, some of them. It's so much fun to be part of things here!

It does seem kind of quiet sometimes, but this is only my second day. I still don't really know where I'm going on campus yet, and there's a bit of construction going on over at not one but TWO buildings on campus, so getting inside of one building or another is confusing and certain departments are hiding behind yellow tape and metal framework beams.

So yes! I'm doing well! However, it's almost time for me to go home, after a little studying, I've got to go. I still haven't decided whether I study best in the library or best on my own in my room. I know my productivity is better when I can study independently, and that it's best for me to avoid the temptation to relax and watch anime in my room, thus the library theme, but when I'm at the library I get distracted with other matters and can't focus either. Maybe next time I can come in the morning and try to take care of all this stuff before it's even time to go to class, so that after class I can study.

Or... maybe it's good to take a break after classes? But not such a long break. Alright-- my goal is to journal and take care of little chores and errands on campus super quickly so I can go and study!! Oh, well, I had some things to do. Next time, I will get more done. I'm off to study Music Theory and Japanese now!

I'll pray for strength. Or for luck. I guess I believe in luck if it comes from God.

Game Sta---..... Not Yet.

I started a post a while ago and stopped for some reason and nobody got to read it.

I don't care, though, because it was mostly empty!

Now I'm going to add to it.

Basically, my blog needs improving. It's lacking in changes. Since I'm going to remodel my room, I should remodel here, too!

I am really bad at remodeling. The reason I say this is because I like to horde junk. What I mean by this is that I can't change things. To me, changes seem like a big deal, but other people probably wouildn't notice whatever is different.

For example, I have a hard time getting rid of clothes. Thus, when I got six large packing boxes sent to me (Wednesday, was it?) filled with my clothes from Atlantis, I (surprise!) didn't need any of the clothes! I really just need to get rid of some. Now everything is falling out of drawers, or the drawers won't close, and plus, I need a lot more hangers. And the little cubbies on the top of my closet are heavy and overflowing with random holey hot chocolate- stained pajama shorts and high-school t-shirts that used to be nice that have little holes by the belly button (from when I had to hold my pants up with a belt and the belt caught)....

Lately I catch my lacy dresses on drawer handles in the kitchen a lot, and tear holes in them. ARRRRG. It makes me really mad, mostly at the lacy dress.

I know what you're thinking. You're like, JUST GIVE AWAY THE OLD STUFF, CARA!

Thank you. That really helps. I'm glad you reminded me, because I was starting to go crazy knowing I needed to get rid of 50% of my clothing and yet I can't see any of the raggedy clothes under my nose as being get-rid-of-able.

But they are! I'm glad I have you here reading this so you could remind me of that. :)

Mmmmmm, KAY. There are a few things I need to make apparent to my self.

1. My blog is totally outdated. 
Not, like, boring or old, but just... I haven't changed it for a while. I need to change it for a bit of inspiration. Sabbath (Saturday) or some other free day would be a good time to spend a while making it anew.

2. I need to learn Japanese... by using what I work with everyday. I need to type up and practice the kanji in アニメ that I watch, or even more, the words that I hear the most. Give myself a time limit for working on this project.
examples: ヤマトナデシコ七変化*

3. I'm going to make a schedule. Then I'll explain it to you, and talk about how I'm doing and accept scoldings when I don't go to bed on time. Hopefully I won't need scolding for not making it to work. (I am so ashamed I am late sometimes, but I've got to be positive and do my best!)

4. I have to start journaling about the medicines I take so that I have an understanding of how they affect me. I'll set up a separate page for it when it's not interesting and just factual, and update a small list there. And I can write about it in a post if there's a lot to talk about it.

Musings After the Party

Just kidding. It wasn't a party.

Thoughts I came up with that I need to journal about now:

Merrick: I'm in love with him. But today I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth and washing my face and I thought of something. I know Merrick isn't always confident about himself. He says he is, but it's not exactly true, maybe he doesn't realize it. I know he does some things I do that are not confident, like giving in to situations instead of having hope and trying over and over again, or being so practical to the point of being hopelessness. For instance, he doesn't voice his opinion if "it's not going to do any good". Or he is uncertain, instead of sure, with a few things.

But Merrick teaches me to be so much more confident. I want to reflect those values right back at him. But I was thinking, what can I do to help him be more confident?

Or more what I'm trying to say is, to help him reach his true potential, and be the biggest, best-est person he's meant to be?

There are a number of things most people would suggest at this point. After all, I'm Merrick's girlfriend. But I'm not talking basic or simple stuff.

And I was thinking, there's nothing I CAN do, not long term. Nothing that can actually change him. 'Cause it's up to him, of course. I can't change who he is or form his character or be the potter and he my clay piece of art on a spinning wheel.

But in a way, that's not quite true--there's something I can do. I think it's the best solution I've come up with yet, although it's a bit self-serving and weird. But I like it.

I can change myself. If I become a greater person and maintain my high opinion of him, he has to become aware of my the truth in my words and devotion to him. Haha. I sound like a weird girlfriend. But do you know what I mean? It's the only thing I can do, coming from my side of things. All I can do is change me. And certainly if he is who I believe he is, he can keep up with my changes. We can compete with each other, and grow together, and build a garden out of our relationship, intertwining in strength and abilities. It will be amazing. I am so excited for this.

The other thought I had, when I was spurred into motivation to begin a journal here on Diary of Cara, I have... forgotten...

What was it?

The saying that if you can't remember, it wasn't important... does not apply to me. I forget and/or remember all things equally. Argh.

Electronic Mail to my Employment Advocate

Hi Raul! I have great news. My shifts at the Sky Cupcake & Coffee didn't work out for me. I suppose I need more experience in customer service. However, I applied with Skyway Telemarketers, and am working 30 hours a week with them!

When I saw the e-mail from you, I went and visited them on Wednesday. Even though it was after 2:30, I happened to catch the receptionist, and she set me up for an interview at nine the next day. Then on Friday I went back for training, and started work this Monday. Today is my second day, and I think I'm doing well! Along with my 30 hours there and my 8-20 hours at Starland's, I am working plenty, and it works well with my schedule and religious accommodation to have Saturdays off. Thanks for all your help!

I apologize for not making my e-mail more concise; I hope it helps that I bolded the main points. :)

If I ever want to apply to Skyway Foods in the future, because I happen to really like them, how best would I apply?

Also, can I come get my gift certificates when I'm not busy? I don't know when that will be, though. I don't leave myself much time to pause.

My last bit of good news is that I am no longer homeless and about to move into a very safe room in a shared house, inexpensively rented to me, and near one of the Ascadia Community College campuses so I can get education in the future.

Thanks,

~ Cara Lowing, Full-time Employed Worker!

Is this the right one?

This is Cara. I am testing my e-mail to blog feature. If you are reading this message, I got it sent to the right place! Heh heh.