News!

It's really quite silly what I've been avoiding talking about.

Yesterday, I was trying to tell you, in my entry, is that I want to make sure, that in the future, that I continue to rise out of my rags. See, you can be middle-class. You can be upper-class. You can be low-class. But what happens when you settle for something? When you say, "Hey. this is good enough for me. I am satisfied with the way my life is."

To look at it negatively, that's limiting yourself. I mean, I don't want to be negative about it if you are truly happy and satisfied. But there is a difference between being satisfied with an accomplished goal and just having given up, and making yourself feel better by saying it's good enough.

Now, it's good to admit when something is enough. Maybe I put less emphasis than I should on the good things I've accomplished in life. But all I'm saying is that I mustn't do what I know I might do: and that is to get back to a place I'm comfortable with, where I have a place to live and a way to support myself, with something that someone else might find satisfactory, and tell myself that it's time to rest, or that it's enough, and forget what my true desires are. Supporting myself is already such a new horizon, I might just consider it good. But it's not! how can I forget what I truly want? Do I even know? If I come to a place where I'm happy, I mustn't stop there!

Ahead of me might be an untamed wild and a rising sun on a bright, colorful horizon. That doesn't mean the wild is the only place I'm going. There are ladders in the sky.

And if I stop to explore the wild, and allow myself to forget my wish to climb, I'll never get there. I'll never reach the true me. I have to head towards the first step of those cloud-steps and inch toward the diving board at the end of the walkway. If I want to fly, I need to visualize the possibility--and not settle for the ground. Maybe I'll even find a way to grow wings.

In case this doesn't make sense, I want to explain in more realistic terms. I'm saying that I'm living in temporary housing, a women's shelter. It's a bunch of beds in one giant room, and shared bathrooms, and government assistance, and a company of women who have recently quit drugs, been fired, lost their apartment, or are disabled. When you're in that position and you aren't used to it, you feel low. You may be motivated to make a change (I am) and you might even know how to do it without too much help from an advocate, unemployment services, or department of human services. In my case, that's how I feel, and it's how I'm doing. I have realized what to do to get back to my high-middle-class life. But I don't want to be middle class. I want to be a leader or to do something influential in the world.

So even though I know how to fix my problem and it's easy to jump up and take the steps I need to raise myself from the caverns underground to the higher subterranean levels, I am SAYING that I DON'T WANT TO STOP THERE.

Since I know how to level-up now, I should be able to apply the process again to raise myself higher than I've ever been.

It's a long shot, and one thing WILL be different than the other. Level one takes effort like I've never imagined.

So what will level two take?

But if I think of it as a game, can't I beat anything?

It helps that I just got a job offer today at Sky Cupcake and Coffee, at an Ascadia market, which I accepted. I have yet to learn about the district... I don't even know which district it's in, I just hopped the Crystal Tomorrow at 2 P.M., I will go through the hiring process. I will let you know how much richer I am tomorrow evening!