dear Jesus,

Please help me to love you like I love other people. 
When you want me to get focused, 
please reach inside my brain and motivate me 
to please you. 
Fill me with your Holy Spirit 
so I can get your work done. 
Thank you. 
Amen.

I am so excited...

I have so many things to talk about and it's been so long since I posted… I don't know where to start! But it's 1 AM where I am so I have to sign off before I even begin.

Teddy is Sleeping and I am Typing on his Computer

I am a cute a tiny little computer. However, I don’t like myself. I can’t type very fast. I don’t flip over and turn into a tablet. No, I do like myself. I am teeny tiny and functional and adorable and probably didn’t cost very much! To make it even better, I arm freaking adorable!!! And tiny! Actually, let me check myself out. Hmmm. No CD spot. What am I for, studying? Hmm.. why did Teddy buy me? I haven’t typed in a while and I am not sure where my typing skills lie on the spectrum.

I’m worried about the time. It is almost twelve o’clock and I don’t know when we need to go to the Thanksgiving dinner. I also am kind of sleepy and need more sleep. Teddy is over there just sleeping away (without snoring, which I am jealous of) just sleeping sleeping sleeping. I don’t know how he does that after I’ve woken him up so many times. It’s probably a bad habit but I’m glad he’s getting his sleep. Sort of. Although it might be better if he learned how to get sleep ahead of time instead of cutting it into the rest of his day. Anybody including him knows how annoying that kind of thing is when you realize how much less time you have to live life before you are supposed to go to sleep AGAIN. Ah well, I don’t really do that anymore so I guess it has to do with imagining going to bed crazy early, relaxing with a mind to sleep, and eventually going to bed a little earlier than your usual way too late. Or maybe it just happens naturally as you get older and it has more to do with being an old fogie than it has to do with being a young fogey. Wait, what do I mean by this? I can't recall...

I made it into the trash! YESH

Ah, yes, I am not even a touch screen. Sigh. Teddy, you need to get a life. Okay, bye now! Piano practice time. … I wonder if I can type in Japanese… Probably not. I will have to copy and paste from Goodle Translate.

畜生！私はまだ画面に触れるようにしています。自宅では、私はipadを持っています。またね！Happy Thanksgiving!

Where is my shortcut key to toggle Romaji input and Kana and or Direct Input?

ctrl + shift + K

I am amAZED at the lack of information on the internet about this question! I though if I searched hard enough, I would find it. Nobody really knows the answer. They just flit around talking about it. Maybe it's a hard question or I didn't look long enough. Anyway, it seems like NOBODY, I mean, NOBODY, knows the answer. And then they will excitedly come back saying, "I figured it out! I figured it out!" But they didn't actually figure out exactly what I wanted to know... which IS..... (I know, I think I'm the only one with a question that matters...) and it is the following:

What is the SHORTCUT on an ENGLISH/AMERICAN QWERTY Keyboard for toggling between direct kana input and romaji input? Not via the settings. Not via the button on the language bar. Not with a button on a JAPANESE keyboard. No!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I WISH I had a Japanese keyboard. I don't!!!)

I ALWAYS have to go my settings and find out the answer.

I can't believe I haven't already written this down! I even made my own Japanese-direct-input keyboard (glued pieces of paper) and I forgot how to set it up electronically via the shortcut! I forgot to write it down!!!

(Can you feel my agony?!)

I am going to go look again, and I will write it down this time. GRRRRRRRUGH!!

I would like to compare this someday in Japanese, so here are the supposed terms, from what I can guess. Actually, I'm sure these are terms that refer to Romaji and direct input, respectively: （入力「にゅうりょく」）

ローマ字入力　ＶＳ　かな入力

ctrl + shift + K

i.e. hold down the control key, then shift, then press the K key

...

Does this work for anybody else?

...

I feel silly.

Good night!

ACUTELY KEY POINT

It's not that I am afraid of failing. It's more complex--here's what it is: I'm afraid that I won't finish. 

I'm afraid that I won't finish!!!!

It's hard to finish when you're not prioritizing. 

Take "hard" up a step if you don't have a time-limit–coordinated schedule. Without limits, and with a natural difficulty in choosing the more important focus, you end up with less important things overlapping with other stuff, and you don't get to everything. 

So say you have five things to do, you get one partially or all done, maybe two, or maybe you sidetracked and nothing is close to being done-- and you don't even touch the other items – that's inconsistency in subject material, tasks, and other progress, where you need consistency, regular touching on all issues (and later when this is accomplish able, review--checking for mistakes throughout your creative splatter thoughts…). 

Here's another aspect and way to look at it. Have an appointment, primarily with another human, and all other things get pushed aside. Not only is this surprising and annoying, but it doesn't seem to go along with the rest of my so-appearing laziness. However. It actually makes sense because there is a time for everything (priority-ish), and if you have some reason for the appointment (if nothing else, I connect well with humans and their impressions of me mean a lot, so, making good ones is a high priority) and then you set that appointment, and it's just that. Set. In time. Not just for a purpose, but it has a place. 

Take its place with something else, and what you're left with is a missed appointment – not usually an accomplished task (because the initial appointment was more than likely the higher priority, being that you took care to set it at all (– so it's important to weigh these things if they come up – but normally, don't expect that anything would be more important that the appointment already set in place, and with a high priority, and all!). 

This is easy for me to explain but hard for me to do: it's like Steven Covey says. There's stuff that is urgent, and then their stuff that is important. Important stuff is like the appointment to set up ahead of time – things that lead you to your goals like I'm training are practicing every day – or studying or working or doing the work that is difficult and boring but necessary. Then there's the urgent stuff like answering calls from your family. That's urgent because it needs to be taken care of now – on the surface. But if you always do that you're not gonna beready for the test – say you haven't even gotten a chance to study – because you ended up answering phone calls dealing with errands and putting gas in your car. There's a point where you have to stop dealing with urgent things and you have tackle that important stuff. But I'm suggesting is that you push urgent out of the way for important. Try not answering a call when you're actually in the middle of studying. Do that, and you will actually have more time in the end – the real kind of free time where you've already finished your homework, can answer phone calls freely – and you'll get a good grade on your test.

So in summary, you might be afraid to start – afraid to get motivated – wanting to be motivated, motivated to be motivated, but not actually doing any of that. Feeling safer when you haven't started at all...

Those things might be happening because you need to follow a schedule. The kind of schedule are you set the time based on how much time you're actually going to spend, and keep it realistic.

In this way, touch on all the things you absolutely need to touch on – like each one of your studies. Or each task that you need to do. Like 1) job search 2) training 3) dusting 4) laundry... And make a game out of getting what you need to get done – done, in that limit that you set for yourself.

And my point. And then. You will not, technically, need to be afraid of not finishing.

One more thing. Always believe that you can finish. Visualize doing so. Find some way to think ridiculously positively (not unrealistic, but the most realistic positive thing) – like how 

you're amazing 

and you're a valuable human being, 

and you're growing

 like color spots

 on a canvas 

that form, turning 

into a flowering 

community section of 

a city 

where someone's garden is growing, 

beautiful in the midst of everything, 

...simply by existing. Then – then you can get to doing just that. 

*** please note: this is all about me. So everything, and application to you, is an example. I wrote this in order to instruct myself; and then I realized it was really good and on point. So I wanted to post it because I like to post things that help me a lot – because it feels awesome… i'm stuck up… Anyway, I am currently dictating these words so it's kind of like I'm speaking to you instead of writing! :-) 

Anyway… What I'm trying to tell you, is that little details may not apply to you but some of this – lack of motivation… Being unable to start tasks… Making you feel like you're someone with depression… It might be this sort of thing. I also would like to throw out there: ADHD, anxiety… The simple possibility of AVOLUTION...Executive functioning disorder, and yes, depression. But those things affect me. Other people could be feeling additional or different real medical conditions like hyper or hypo thyroid… or other things that I do not know about. These kinds of things don't have to be labeled for you to feel them. You can decide not to label it if you like, but people who label it, as long as they are doing their best not to use the label as an excuse, are often people you can ask questions of, learn from, or even just observe from afar. They are very smart people – they are stronger because they know their weaknesses.

So just because you label it doesn't mean you have to admit that you're weaker! Sometimes, putting a label on things only makes you more knowledgeable because you're aware of how you can do better, and where you need to watch out for danger that applies specifically to you. Ta ta for now!

Note: I definitely went into A possibly helpful but sort of rant...just there. At the end. After the ***please note. Stating my opinion and whatnot. Ya. 

Sent from my iPhone