It's not that I am afraid of failing. It's more complex--here's what it is: I'm afraid that I won't finish.
I'm afraid that I won't finish!!!!
It's hard to finish when you're not prioritizing.
Take "hard" up a step if you don't have a time-limit–coordinated schedule. Without limits, and with a natural difficulty in choosing the more important focus, you end up with less important things overlapping with other stuff, and you don't get to everything.
So say you have five things to do, you get one partially or all done, maybe two, or maybe you sidetracked and nothing is close to being done-- and you don't even touch the other items – that's inconsistency in subject material, tasks, and other progress, where you need consistency, regular touching on all issues (and later when this is accomplish able, review--checking for mistakes throughout your creative splatter thoughts…).
Here's another aspect and way to look at it. Have an appointment, primarily with another human, and all other things get pushed aside. Not only is this surprising and annoying, but it doesn't seem to go along with the rest of my so-appearing laziness. However. It actually makes sense because there is a time for everything (priority-ish), and if you have some reason for the appointment (if nothing else, I connect well with humans and their impressions of me mean a lot, so, making good ones is a high priority) and then you set that appointment, and it's just that. Set. In time. Not just for a purpose, but it has a place.
Take its place with something else, and what you're left with is a missed appointment – not usually an accomplished task (because the initial appointment was more than likely the higher priority, being that you took care to set it at all (– so it's important to weigh these things if they come up – but normally, don't expect that anything would be more important that the appointment already set in place, and with a high priority, and all!).
This is easy for me to explain but hard for me to do: it's like Steven Covey says. There's stuff that is urgent, and then their stuff that is important. Important stuff is like the appointment to set up ahead of time – things that lead you to your goals like I'm training are practicing every day – or studying or working or doing the work that is difficult and boring but necessary. Then there's the urgent stuff like answering calls from your family. That's urgent because it needs to be taken care of now – on the surface. But if you always do that you're not gonna beready for the test – say you haven't even gotten a chance to study – because you ended up answering phone calls dealing with errands and putting gas in your car. There's a point where you have to stop dealing with urgent things and you have tackle that important stuff. But I'm suggesting is that you push urgent out of the way for important. Try not answering a call when you're actually in the middle of studying. Do that, and you will actually have more time in the end – the real kind of free time where you've already finished your homework, can answer phone calls freely – and you'll get a good grade on your test.
So in summary, you might be afraid to start – afraid to get motivated – wanting to be motivated, motivated to be motivated, but not actually doing any of that. Feeling safer when you haven't started at all...
Those things might be happening because you need to follow a schedule. The kind of schedule are you set the time based on how much time you're actually going to spend, and keep it realistic.
In this way, touch on all the things you absolutely need to touch on – like each one of your studies. Or each task that you need to do. Like 1) job search 2) training 3) dusting 4) laundry... And make a game out of getting what you need to get done – done, in that limit that you set for yourself.
And my point. And then. You will not, technically, need to be afraid of not finishing.
One more thing. Always believe that you can finish. Visualize doing so. Find some way to think ridiculously positively (not unrealistic, but the most realistic positive thing) – like how
you're amazing
and you're a valuable human being,
and you're growing
like color spots
on a canvas
that form, turning
into a flowering
community section of
a city
where someone's garden is growing,
beautiful in the midst of everything,
...simply by existing. Then – then you can get to doing just that.
*** please note: this is all about me. So everything, and application to you, is an example. I wrote this in order to instruct myself; and then I realized it was really good and on point. So I wanted to post it because I like to post things that help me a lot – because it feels awesome… i'm stuck up… Anyway, I am currently dictating these words so it's kind of like I'm speaking to you instead of writing! :-)
Anyway… What I'm trying to tell you, is that little details may not apply to you but some of this – lack of motivation… Being unable to start tasks… Making you feel like you're someone with depression… It might be this sort of thing. I also would like to throw out there: ADHD, anxiety… The simple possibility of AVOLUTION...Executive functioning disorder, and yes, depression. But those things affect me. Other people could be feeling additional or different real medical conditions like hyper or hypo thyroid… or other things that I do not know about. These kinds of things don't have to be labeled for you to feel them. You can decide not to label it if you like, but people who label it, as long as they are doing their best not to use the label as an excuse, are often people you can ask questions of, learn from, or even just observe from afar. They are very smart people – they are stronger because they know their weaknesses.
So just because you label it doesn't mean you have to admit that you're weaker! Sometimes, putting a label on things only makes you more knowledgeable because you're aware of how you can do better, and where you need to watch out for danger that applies specifically to you. Ta ta for now!
Note: I definitely went into A possibly helpful but sort of rant...just there. At the end. After the ***please note. Stating my opinion and whatnot. Ya.
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