It won't hurt to push yourself, as long as you don't quit.

I'm studying a lot of kanji today.

:) This doesn't apply to actual damage, like a sore joint or torn muscle (exercise) or mental hurt (learning, communicating with others, death)

When.

I thought of something. When I'm letting myself get carried away by something that distracts me, I just have to remember: what do I really want? Was this what I was planning on, or am I allowing my decisions to get changed, and pretending that I'm the one that changed those decisions?

(when I say distractions-- I'm referring to something that you love so much, but ends up taking away from the normal, good things, like life, a steady job, family, time with friends... happiness... I mean anything you can get addicted to, like anime for me. I won't involve drugs as if I know what that feels like, but I'm supposing it's the same principle.)

Yes, I'm allowing that-- a decision to be swept under me, my feet flying, my back hitting the cement, and I just lie there, lifeless-- but I don't have to, I'm the master of my decisions. I don't have to allow myself to be swayed in thought and action, not in a place where I'm the one in charge, the queen.

What do I really want? Did I want this? Do I now? Don't ask WHY-- ask, WHEN will I change this?

When.

Quitting... temporarily.

I decided that I'm not going to watch any more TV (i.e. anime) without it being something I'm using to translate languages-- not until I reach my 175 lbs. weight goal. 'Cause I really need to get my haircut, and I'm only supposed to do that after I lose those ten pounds. Arrrggg.

I can't believe I'm saying this.

And I can't say, "I hope I can do this," because I know I CAN, so if I say that I'm not sure I'm capable, it's lying. I don't know if I have the strength though... no, I do know that I have it. It's more like I don't know if I have the true desire to actually stop.

Well, I know I CAN do this, so if I don't, it's all my fault. Arrrggg. Urrrg.

But it sure is a lot easier to get things done when you aren't addicted -- I mean of course not! I mean... wasting time... watching anime. haha. just kidding. I am a little addicted. or completely, I suppose.

here goes! :)........ I'm gonna clean my room now. Updates later! I'm absolutely required to come back and update you with the POSITIVE progress that I'm going to make. yay.